Wednesday 8 June 2011

Post op day 17

It's been 17 days now since the operation to remove both my lower legs.  The bandages are looking a little worse for wear and are starting to come apart, don't think there going to last much longer to be honest.  Good job the appointment came through for the hospital.  I have to attend Sunderland Royal on the 16th at the dressing room to have the bandages removed.  Finally I will get to see what the stumps look like and what the scars look like.  This will be the first hurdle for me, making sure the wounds are healing properly and the skin is knitting together and there is no infection. If everything is OK then I will be able to go to the limb centre to get fitted for new legs and the phsysio can begin.  At this point I have no idea if the staples/stitches are going to be removed.  I am worried that it might not be healing and I would assume that if there was some form of an infection that I would be aware  of this by now.

Adult services are coming out on Friday afternoon to asses any help I may be entitled too as well as looking into the direct payments which I will use to pay for taxis, as there is no way I can transfer into our 8 seater car as it is the size of the A Team Van !  Still waiting for the new claim pack from the DLA to arrive so I can re apply for care component, they have told me that it can take up to 2 weeks just for the claim pack to arrive, god knows how long it is going to take to assess.

The blues are starting to hit now and I am trying hard to keep looking to the future and positive side of things. It is strange to think that I was the type of person that was so used to never sitting down, not stopping or taking time out for myself. That is now causing issues for me as I find my self feeling restless, wondering if I have done the right thing, wishing things to hurry up.  I don't know how to relax any more. I don't exactly have a choice of positions to sit in either. If it's not propped up in bed, then its sitting with my legs straight out in front of me in the wheelchair, or sitting with my legs up on the couch. Each day is starting to become the same for me at the moment, with nothing just over the horizon to look forward to. I feel useless a lot of the time as well, watching the kids run around doing things for me in the house and David trying to manage whilst am stuck in this chair.  This is why I went for this operation I suppose, so at the end of the day this is only a short term thing and not for life which it could have so easily have been.
I have achieved a lot this week, trying to put a positive slant on the whole thing.  I have worked out how to use the downstairs toilet, wash my hair, get dressed on my own (well mostly still need the odd hand with certain things),shopping in Asda and Shopping in the Town.  My sleeping has gotten slightly better and don't need so many pillows now and have also managed to get onto my side for short periods of time. The muscles in the back of my legs are cramping all the time and it is not the stump end as such that is hurting but the back of the leg.  It is tender to the touch and what is left of the leg is going into spasms which hurts a lot.  David thinks that it could be the muscle that is no longer going to the calf and feet shrinking or wasting away, all I know is that it is bloody painful !

ITV News Link

if your interested here is the clip from the news last night on ITV http://www.itv.com/tynetees/detirmined-to-walk-again60752/

Saturday 4 June 2011

they think its all over now......part 3

It's 12 days since the operation and it feels as if it has been much longer!!

I should get the appointment for the hospital some time next week to attend the week after. Can't wait to see what it looks like under all that bandage, although some of it is coming off now and I can see some horrific bruising.

Feeling tired today and a little low but this is only natural considering what I have been through.  In fact I would worry more about the state of my mental health if I didn't feel a bit low at some point.  Spoke to the doctors regarding pain relief and was given a prescription for Tramadol which seems to work at lot better.  I am sick of being in the wheelchair already and feel very restless to say the least.  Not used to having so much free time on my hands .  Sorry to say am even getting bored of Facebook !  Some days I feel that it is just too much effort to transfer and other days it doesn't bother me as it seems to be second nature, today however is one of those "too much effort " days.

I know I need to take it easy and if I was talking to some one else I would tell them not to be in a rush with everything, too enjoy the time off they had and to make the most of it , unfortunately I am not very good at taking my own advice.  The kids are coping very well considering and the oldest two are amazing they are doing everything I ask and more.  David is a special kind of man as well.  He has taken everything in his stride and not once has he uttered a word of complaint.  I have to admit there is not many blokes in this world who would willingly take on this type of responsibility and shine, but David does and am lucky to have him.  My ex husband baulked at the thought of me going through a operation some years ago and it didn't involve half of what am going through now and that was with one kid !!

My 5 year old is acting out at the moment and I think it is to do with the amputation. All am trying to do is look forward to the future with my family.  But on a lighter note.....I am being interviewed for BBC Newcastle  radio on Monday morning LIVE ! now how funny is that going to be 8am, school run. 6 kids, Monday morning....mmmmm. Also on Monday we are being interviewed for the News again,

What a media whore I am !!