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Saturday, 4 August 2012

TEARS, TANTRUMS BUT NO TIARA'S

Sorry it has been a while since writing anything down.  The only excuse I have is life getting in the way.

so much has happened since the last time I sat here to talk to you, where to start?  From the beginning I guess.


I am doing good. After a few false starts with the physiotherapy, things started to get a lot better. I had some issues with blisters that we thought was down to the sockets or the liners not fitting properly, but what we found out was it was due to the stumps sweating. I know this sounds bizarre, it did to me when it was first mentioned, but every time I put my legs on any activity I do will heat them up, there fore they will start to get "sweaty."   So after some research ( as this had never been mentioned before) I found out how to care for my stumps and the liners to help prevent this from happening again.




So every night I take the legs off to rest the stumps.  I wash them down with warm water but no soap then dry them thoroughly.  Then I use a soft lint free cloth and warm water and wash the inside of the silicone liner and dry it off with a lint free towel.  Then I use a little bit of baby oil on the stumps just to make sure the skin doesn't dry out.  At bed time I use a specially formulated deodorant in roll on format.  no I know what you think deodorant for stumps, but this was actually recommended to me by my limb specialist. you put it on and let it dry leaving it over night then wash it off the next day. you must follow the directions .  so far it has reduced the redness I was getting from wearing my limbs and as long as it keeps the blisters away I will be happy.  Especially as I am off on holiday in 8 weeks.

The physiotherapist was so happy with my progress that they have now moved me on to elbow crutches in the house and for transferring, which means that I am sorted for my holidays.  I ended up losing my temper (surprise), for the umpteenth time when I couldn't get into the car the way they where showing me.  In the end my friend came round with her car and I worked it out on my own, sometimes i think it just takes them to show you the technique but for you to actually go out there and do it for yourself.  I also believe that when you do finally conquer those demons that it means more and does more good for your own self confidence.  I have missed out on a lot over the last couple of month due to be too scared to try things including my sons 8th birthday party, going out with my kids and the Jubilee celebrations at the park and beach with my family. But know am ready to go back to work in the office.
My current employer has been fantastic in supporting me during these last couple of month and just wished there where more companies out there who could be supportive of there employees regardless of what is wrong or whether a disability is involved or not.  I am not going to lie.  Going back to work is scaring me shitless !! I don't expect you to understand. I don't really understand other then to say that am scared of making a fool of myself and not wanting to be relying on any one for help.  In an ideal world I would be able to wait until all my rehab is over, out the wheelchair, no longer needing the taxis, no sticks, fully independent.. But needs must when the devil is knocking at your door as the saying goes and I do have holiday money to save up.  I think my main concern is two fold really.  One that something will happen, I will fall or something at work and show myself up (again), in front of every one I work with and second, I stick out like a sore thumb when I all want is to "fit" in and belong.  I have to rely on everyone for doors, for drinks, dinner etc.

I could leave work and go on ESA but I have no idea if I would be entitled to it and it would mean a hell of a drop of income.  Why would I not be entitled to it ? Well that brings me to my other bit about what is going on in my life at the moment.  I am currently taking a former employer to tribunal for discrimination and unfair dismissal.  Part of this is non payment of National Insurance, which means am missing a years worth of contributions.  This in turns means no benefits, this is why I had no choice but to rush straight into another job when I could have done with taking the time out for rehab to be honest.  So as you can see no idea about ESA.
As yet the former employer will not accept the claim and is trying to say that I am ...well...basically paranoid, but he is also trying to get out of the unfair dismissal part as well by trying to get it struck off.  Looking at my new employer and my past employer , the difference  is unbelievable .  The size of the companies is not much different  but the way they treat their employers is phenomenal !!

And finally the holiday. 8 weeks till I leave for Florida. The arguments I have had with Thompson's is unreal over the dinning plan and believe it or not they booked my wheelchair on the plane and although it was requested no assistance for getting on the aircraft or off it !!  I have asked Disney for a adapted ground floor room so lets see what we get. It has been suggested that I email the holiday company direct and see what happens, maybe I will.

However I am still waiting for my lottery win so I can buy better legs and enjoy my holiday,but still no tiara....

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