Friday, 20 May 2011

2 days to go

well its the early hours of Saturday morning and its my birthday.

so apart from the world coming to an end what else is happening? I hear you shout!

Well Its only 2 more sleeps before I go into hospital and I am petrified!!  Still doing the decolonistion thingy and now have started the hormone tablets as well. Everything bought in for the hospital just need a dongle now which david is going to get for me later on as for the first few days I will more then likely not know who I am never mind where I am.

Its Jennifers getting leg less party tonight, but really don't feel in the mood any more.  David reckons I will be fine and that I have just got myself a little wound up and a little down about going in on Monday.  Hes probably right.

Rang the hospital tonight to confirm everything and my admission time on Monday, its all in place and I am a morning admission 8am so I wont even get to see the kids off to school.

That's something else that is killing me as well, leaving the kids mainly the younger ones to be honest.  Eden who is 5 had me blaring my eyes out yesterday. She has been acting out lately and we think it is linked to me going into hospital. I pulled her to one side and told her that I needed her to be strong as she would have to supervise the eldest two and help daddy whilst I was in hospital.  She started to get teary eyed then her lip wobbled and she burs in to floods of tears !!
"mammy please don't go into hospital, I don't want you to go into hospital" I tried to explain to her whilst trying to hold back floods of tears my  self , telling her that I could do a lot more things with her once I  had new legs to which she replied that I didn't need new legs and it was alright I could just sit in my wheelchair as daddy would push me and I could sit and watch her play in the park! - what do you say to that?

That really hit me where it hurt!

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