The week that was

What a whirlwind of a week it has been! starting last Friday with BBC look north contacting me  so they could do some news coverage, then signed with North East Press so they could look at a publication deal this resulted in Pick me up wanting to do a follow up on the story. This has also resulted in me being in the Sunderland local paper as well,

In between all of this have tried to live a normal day to day existence. Nothing been sorted at work yet so still no idea what is happening regarding me training some one else up or the VPN network being set up so that I can work from home afterwards. Still nothing on the sick pay side either . Although getting to work Thursday was very interesting with the amount of pain I was in ,now you are probably wondering why I went to work if the pain was that bad, I know David was LOL. It was all self inflicted . Had the day off for Davids birthday on Wednesday and Paul looked after the kids for us (well more like the little ones nearly finished him off and the eldest looked after him ) so that we could have a kid free day out to Newcastle shopping. First time in 7 years we have been able to do this !!
Had a great time even discovered a way of tackling escalators for the first time, makes life so much easier then using the lifts let me tell you, although David had to steady me getting on and off and still haven't worked out going down on the damn things, knowing my luck I will just have it sorted in time for the legs to come off !!
The moral of the story was I over did it a tad with the walking and standing and by the time we sat down to eat at tea time I wasn't sure if I would be able to get up again . The pain was intense!! the heel pad on my left stump felt like it was in fire as every time I tried to put weight down on it it felt like it was bathed in fire and the worse thing was  I  hadn't took out any painkillers and had to stand on the Metro home. Not one person would make eye contact with me or give me a seat even though my prosthetics where on show...charming or what.
The upshot was come Thursday morning I couldn't walk but couldn't afford to take the time off work and we where on a deadline with the new leads we had so had to painkiller up and take my elbow crutches with me I was an hour late and what would normally be a 10 min walk for me (everyone else 3 mins), ended up being a 20 min shuffle like the living dead up Granger Street.

Vouchers turned up for "fat" club so hoping I can get there on Thursday, Pilate's and Thia Chi going well and its starting to get easier as well, not looking so much like a beached whale any more when trying to do it but still looking like a fish when I  am floundering  around on the bed trying to get up. Weight loss not so well 17st 10 but the body fat has dropped considerably  to 45.7% so yeah me !!! Starting to fit into clothes that I havnt been able to wear in a while.

Still nothing from the hospital. Thinking of ringing the secretary to see if she can tell me anything. Really starting to get down about it all now, finding it hard to stay positive and look on the bright side.  There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.  David is staying up beat, keeps telling me to look at how well am doing with the exercise and how much of an inspiration I am to other people in the same situation, how we are keeping our head above water and how much good am doing for amputees in helping other people understand.  Which is good, but wheres my light at the end of the tunnel?
Need to sort something out to look forward too, before the "blues" that I have now spiral out of control and end up in full blown depression.  The comfort eating , or wanting too is killing me and finding it hard not to succumb every two minutes !! The temper is starting to get shorter which is not good as am finding my self taking it out on the kids and David, which isn't fair as the kids not only dont deserve it but dont understand why mam is like that..
Taking all the vitamins just hope there doing some good .  On Sea Kelp for the Thyroid, Omega 3 for skin hair nails ,Echinacea Root for my immune system (trying to build it up before I go in ) and Glucosamine Sulphate for my joints..
Knee abrasions are getting worse using E45 on them but not very effective so need to look into finding something else that works. David thinks that when the appointment comes through we should contact some one and see if any one wants to do a documentary on the amputation its self...would any one even be interested??
Just wish the damn thing would come....

Another Week

well its the start of another week and still waiting for the letter to come through from the hospital.  Trying to put it out of my mind but that isn't happening . I can feel the tension rise everyday, and my temper is getting shorter and shorter. Waiting for the vouchers from slimming world so haven't been to "fat club" yet, but the fight with the food especially the pringles goes on .  As you probably know by now been on our local news so all good to get the word out there for all amputees to be heard

Had North East Press sign me to a contract to see if any publications want the story. the log on you tube is doing well and have a few followers there so hopefully that will help the cause as well.Have been asked to do one on stump care which will be the focus of my next one.

Work is going well but not heard back from my boss yet regarding the sick pay or time. Still working  hard on the pilates but nothing happening yet bar sore muscles.

BBC Look North

Here is the clip from last night when we appeared on our local news .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7Dd0-Zttds

Trying Hard

No body probably reads these but its good for me to be able to put this out there just in case some day some one needs help and doesn't know where  to look..

Still nothing from the hospital.Still dreading the sound of the letter box in the morning. Started doing Thia Chi every morning, leg lifts,free weights and pilates every other day. Boy not that I could do much of the excersises but what i did do has left me sore and for  45 minute routine it feels like i have done a 3 hour intense gym session !! Also started trying to use the stairs at work.So far i walk up one flight and when i finish down one flight Have started  taking vitamins. something for my immune system,something for keeping  the joints supple,omega 3,and sea kelp for my blood and thyroid.

Changed the eating patterns although not doing so well saying no to the pringles. But trying to watch the calories in everything i eat and off to slimming world tomorrow with Katy so a weigh in. Must be doing some good as the blokes at work they have mentioned that i  look as if am slimming down.

Need to get the district nurse with regards to getting referred for  equipment for after the operation. On a positive note the health visitor has referred Toyah to nursery so just waiting for that to come through.

I swear its as if the stumps know there going to get cut off !! had a bad week with pain levels.so been hammering the painkillers but going to try and ease up on them. Kind of got stuff sorted at work will be working at home when ready after the operation.
will be  doing the  vlog soon.

To live with an Amputation: This is my latest V log from the hospital appointm...

To live with an Amputation: This is my latest V log from the hospital appointm...: "This is my latest V log from the hospital appointment on Thursday. Getting more things put in place today regarding the hospital appointment..."

This is my latest V log from the hospital appointment on Thursday. Getting more things put in place today regarding the hospital appointment. Jumping every time the post comes now. In a lot of pain today. Right stump feels swollen and leg too tight, Right knee also aching a lot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oditSLvmk7g

The Apointment

Well the appointment its self with the consultant was brief to say the least but the waiting around and getting x rays took longer. He has x rayed both legs and knees, nothing was said regarding and degrading of the knee joints. So assuming that this is a good sign the amputation will go ahead. Talked briefly with the consultant about the operation and what to expect,then signed the consent form. Couldn't stop my hand from shaking !!.
He didn't know what the ERTL procedure was but described how he was going to do it.It will be both legs together and he will be taking them 10cm from the knee joint.
He thinks it will be general anesthetic and ICU for maybe the first 24/48 hours. After that general ward I guess.
Pain relief after the operation will be down to the anesthetist but he thought I would be in hospital for at least  2 weeks. Again it will depend on how mobile I am and how soon.
The other factor is having my head in the right place after as well. 6 weeks after the stitches have been removed I should be fitted for my first prosthetics. He doesn't know if he will use staples or sutures  on the wounds yet.

Now the important bit..it will be early May or maybe even mid April when I go in..eek !!!!

So have started in earnest with the exercises. As well as doing the physio excesses for my legs ,I have also started to do Thai Chi and Pilate's .Also bought a dance keep fit DVD to have a go at..

I have been naughty this weekend and after Thursday have had a bit of a blow out but all said and done have lost another 1lb. Now down to 17st 9lb...but hopefully this will increase now that am trying more seriously.
Have spoke to OT and wheelchair services and apparently they cant access me for a different wheelchair or any aids until after the amputation..stupid really. So trying out my other wheelchair but no idea if its what I will need.
Need to start getting everything ready for the hospital ,the letter should come through at least 5 weeks before with the date and am speaking to work on Monday.They will take me in the morning of the operation but I wont be able to  speak to the anesthetist until the morning of the operation.
Have spoke to the health visitor regarding Toyah going to nursery ready for me going in and have also spoke to the DWP about money. Have also got an appointment with the GP regarding anything they can help with referrals etc. Writing to the kids schools to let them know what is going to happen and hopefully get there support ...although Edens and Tyler's school probably wont they still give us problems if I am having a bad day with my legs and we run 5 Min's late with them. They have threatened to  start attendance procedures over this !!

ooh well let the countdown begin....