Inspiration Porn

Inspiration porn is a term you may have heard or read at some point from the disabled community or Pc “abled-bodied”….It basically means when someone who does not have a disability looks at someone who does have a disability leading a “normal” life and sees them as an inspiration for doing things that anyone would take for granted such as raising kids, going to work or going out.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want people to think am an inspiration for them just because I had kids or got married, but I want to be inspirational to someone if I have done something that is amazing that even if I wasn’t disabled would be incredible.

Abled bodied ( I hate that term by the way), or disabled, overcoming the odds should be celebrated and used by others as a benchmark of just what can be possible if we put our minds to it. Humans are great at adapting and finding new ways of doing things, having a disability is no exception.

Things  I hear often are, “you're so brave,”” I don’t know how you cope,” and this is to just do with me being in a wheelchair let alone living my life! What I don’t understand is the need to have two distinct groups of people, disabled and nondisabled or abled bodied, whichever term you prefer to use. How can we have full inclusion if we are going to get bent out of shape over language that is used? It just propagates the whole “them and us” thing.

I agree words hurt, like one of my favorite Pat Benator song “words are like weapons”, and  people should be careful of the language they use and the labels they put on people. Certain words and turns of phrases are just not acceptable, at all, under any circumstances, but people need to stop getting bent out of shape over everything, Political Correctness, in my opinion has gone wild. It has now got to a situation where the divide is bigger and the hate crime is on the rise. Because of all the PC language and the bickering over what terms should and shouldn’t be used, people have no idea what is acceptable and this makes them scared or embarrassed to talk to anyone who is different in any way in fear of being offensive and branded bigot, racist or accused of a hate crime or discrimination.

Again in my opinion ( which is an unpopular one, but hey, never been one to follow the crowd), the people who seem hung up on the nitty-gritty of it all, are the do-gooders who have never in their lives experienced what it's like to live with/ through whatever it is, or the people who are really bent out of shape, are bitter with their lot they have in life and the cards they have been dealt and all they want to do is take it out on the world as it owes them because it's unfair and they want to watch the world burn.

To be honest, if you want my opinion, ( which you probably don’t, but you're getting it anyway),  the current Social Economic Status and Political Climate of the country is not helping this either. Fingers are being pointed, lines being drawn in the sand regarding benefit fraud, the rise of people claiming PIP and sickness related help by the policymakers as they look for a scapegoat for their misspending and backhanders. Basically, the politicians need someone the people can point their pitchforks at and someone to blame other than who it really is that is causing the issues.

To me, it seems that there is a bigger divide than ever. Terms such as “inspiration porn”, people getting bent out of shape because we use the wrong terminology that some think tank has now decided is the PC way of saying something, instead of what was acceptable a couple of days ago, these aren’t the important issues we should be concentrating on.

Don’t get me wrong am grateful for all the people who fought for me to have equal rights and equal opportunities, for all those people who fought so we wouldn’t all be locked up in asylums or “special homes”, for the people who fought for my right to access services, businesses and transport the same as everyone else, but I refuse to get bent out of shape or sit in my room and cry because someone uses my story, my struggle to get through or over theirs. In fact, I hope they do! I hope I make them think “well if she can do it, so can I” For the few who do patronize with the whole well aren’t you brave, yes love I am because I put up with idiots like you, how does that song go “ fools to the left of me, jokers to the right?”

BULLYING

I thought to be a disabled child and in mainstream school was bad during the ’70s and ’80s before the Equality Act 2010 and its predecessor the disability act of 1985, but how wrong could I be?

I look at the kids who are going to school today who have anything that is different about them, not just a disability and my heart brakes. What’s worse is it is now happening in the workplace.

Instead of things being more inclusive, accepting and equal, it appears to be even more judgemental, harsh and segregated than ever. My son is Autistic and has been bullied the whole time through school, but things have steadily got worse as the years have gone on. As he has learned not to give in to his bullies, to feed their narcissistic satisfaction of reacting, they soon learned that the way to get to him was through his little sisters and touching his books and pens. This resulted in this year, him and one of his younger sisters being surrounded by 20 kids and jumped on, being beaten to the ground, hit with sticks, having stones thrown at them, their things thrown around, bags jumped on, name-calling and my son having his legs, sides , and head kicked . All this just outside the school gates, when the crowd was starting to form at 20 strong, the teacher on gate duty walked up, told them to disperse and when he got sworn at turned his back and walked away. The school's reason for this? Because he’s not insured outside the school gates and the teachers union would have kicked off if he had been injured. What happened to being a decent human being? What happened to be in that type of career because you care? If that teacher had stayed with my son and daughter, then they would not have been assaulted.

The school's solution to all of this? To separate my son, for my son to be the one removed from the class and his friends, for my son to have to get into school early so he can get into his classes before his bullies show up. For my son to have to go to a special room on his breaks and for my son to be the one who has to leave school 5 minutes before the bell in order not to get trapped in school or walking home at the same time as the people who assaulted him. The police? They could not get one witness out of the 20 children who surrounded them to give the 3 boys names up that had physically and verbally attacked my son. The police wanted to prosecute under the hate crime law, something that I believe as not yet happened to a minor in this country and the exact reason this law had been brought into effect for.

This is just one example of bullying today on our streets and in our schools, not to mention the unseen bullying that takes place every day in the workplace. Just because we are adults does not mean we are exempt.

The police seem to have their hands tied between the perpetrators having such sway over a certain sector or people or area, to people being too scared to come forward, to their own crown prosecution who won’t take a case to court unless they can guarantee a definite win and besides, don’t like prosecuting children.

Schools are just as bad. They're too scared of upsetting parents of children who are out of line, for fear of being accused of discrimination, repercussions from the law as the law seems to more and more to support the lawless. Teachers more and more are wrapped up in paperwork, red tape, and bureaucracy. What’s even worse is that more and more teaching staff seem to be just as bad as the kids that are doing it. I hear more instances every day of not just children being the bullies, but the teachers as well. What’s worse is it no longer stops at the school gates, thanks to social media platforms and the internet the bullies can no access their victims 24/7. Parents who don’t enforce the rules because they don’t see the point “as everyone is doing it/ on it” or simply they don’t care, not interested or just can’t be bothered with the aggravation of standing up to their little precious. Not only that but so many of these parents have no idea exactly what their little darlings are getting up to on or offline.

What about social media platforms? What are they doing about this epidemic? Well as much as they lawfully have to, which is nothing much. They have rules, if it’s reported and their not inundated/ lose it /or can be bothered they will send a warning message to the little darling or adult (let’s not forget that this happens to adults as well!). Who is causing the pain, they will post up the rules to be ignored by everyone and they might even go so far as to ban, for a short time anyway, the person in the wrong, just until they can make another “fake” account of course.

And what about the victim? They go on as before, feeling unsupported, lost and alone. If they are lucky they will have a supporting family or network to help get them through this, which by the way, can last for years. My son doesn’t leave the house when he’s not at school, panics about walking home, went from a boy who loved learning and wanting to go to University to someone who struggles every day with depression and hates going to school as he just wants to leave and completely has a meltdown if he is stuck in the open on his own

I thought bullying was bad when I was at school, but at least I left my bullies at the school gates, the teachers had time to care and to listen and the police did actually have power. At least when I was a child, the bullies where stilled scared of their own parents and still worried about the consequences.

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Access

“Access denied!”

That’s what it often feels like the world is saying to me when it is impossible or complicated to use buildings, services or trying to attend events.

I cannot speak for every wheelchair user or disabled person in the world, but surely I cannot be the only person who finds it frustrating in this day and age or supposed “inclusion” and equality.

Since the Equality Act 2010 services, businesses, and events should make things accessible and if it is not possible then that business should bring the service where possible to us. It’s classed as making a reasonable adjustment. There are exceptions to the rule which include listed buildings, but businesses will get around this by saying that the building is listed which stops them from putting a lift in or if there are stairs saying that they are prohibited from putting a stairlift outside due to it being listed, when the railings are either not or the stairlift will cause no damage to the building. They use loopholes in the law and building listings to great round or just flat out not make any kind of reasonable adjustments as the cost could be prohibited. However, what these businesses don’t realize is that they are losing out on a substantial amount of revenue.

If I want to go anywhere, do anything I have to do research days before, sometimes months before in order to make sure that where I want to go is accessible. How fair is that? Would you do that? Would you think that is reasonable even if all you want to do is go out for a meal with friends or take your children somewhere?

It’s never about trying to get something for nothing, and just like any minority issue, there are a few bad apples who will try and get something for nothing or special privileges and this results in the stories you see in the news and you hear people talking about. Benefit scroungers, pretending to be disabled or ill to get things or extra help, people complain about how people on disabilities or in wheelchairs are jumping queues , however, all I want is to be able to access the same things as everyone else, a point I proved recently at Showmasters London Film and Comic Convention.  One of the days we needed to early so go through the main entrance. I had not bothered to register as needing extra help or a carer as I don’t when am using my electric wheelchair, different story if I had been using my manual wheelchair to some degree as David would have to push me everywhere as I cannot self-propel. Instead, I used my electric wheelchair for the weekend, mainly because I wanted my independence.

 So when we went through the gate they automatically showed me to the carers line for extra help. When I asked if I was in the right queue as I didn’t need the extra help the guy looked surprised and told me, in that case, go through the normal queue which I was more than happy to do, much to the surprise of some of the attendees.

You see the entrance was flat, I didn’t have to self-propel and the lines were maneuverable, so no need for me to skip ahead. I did slow the line down to some degree as my electric wheelchair only goes at a very slow speed, this did annoy some people so guess am dammed if I do (get extra help and special treatment), and dammed if I don’t( and I access I like everyone else). Like I said I cannot speak for another person who has a disability or uses a wheelchair but am happy to access services, events and businesses just the same as everyone else, that’s all I want. Whether its everyday things like going out shopping or going for food, to special occasions like a night out, event or weekend away or even if I feel like treating myself or my husband wants to spoil me and we want something a bit more luxurious these are things I should be able to access without having to spend a ridiculous amount of time on research beforehand.

Transport

Using public transport as someone who is not just disabled but a wheelchair user is daunting.

Taxis, buses, trains all a potential problem, all a potential argument and all a potential nightmare.

Taxis

Now you would think using a taxi would be the easiest option, but not always. Yes there are a lot of taxis companies that now have WAV (wheelchair accessible vehicles), and the fact that in London all black cabs are not accessible (a little thing I just recently found out), but these are usually cabs with ramps that people go in via the side. The biggest problem with these is the cabs have not been lowered, the ramps are all different types and lengths and these are often than not bought off  somewhere like Amazon and therefore not the correct or safest gradient. This makes them unsafe and risks not just for the driver but the user, as the gradient is too steep/ sharp for them to be safe to use, this can result in chairs being too heavy for drivers to push up the ramp and also for them tipping over or going over the edge which is what happened with me.

Not only that but some cabs have two single ones which means that if the driver does not put them a safe distance apart could cause major issues for the person in the wheelchair.

Not only have that but a lot of ramps had no fixing points on the chairs so again not very safe.

Couple that with the fact that a lot of the taxi drivers are not trained to handle vulnerable adults or wheelchairs, unfit to do so due to medical issues are just not fit or strong enough.

That leaves us with a few vehicles that are called “Doppler’s” these are rear loading WAVs with the ramps out of the backs. Again there are still problems with these such as there not being enough room for the wheelchair and the person sitting in them resulting in legs being squished up uncomfortable against the back of the seats. Again though taxi drivers are not helpful accessing these vehicles either and see reluctant to fold down seats or clear the space.

Buses

Although most buses now have disabled spaces and lowered steps, using a bus is something made of nightmares for me. Since having to use a wheelchair, hand on heart and being honest, I have never used a bus and never will, not if I can help it.

Currently, they are heated arguments between bus drivers, people who use wheelchairs, the public and people with prams. Although the spaces are supposed to be kept for people with wheelchairs, often people will use them if they have a pram and some are seats that have to be folded up in order to become a wheelchair space. However when someone with a wheelchair is wanting to use that bus, the driver should ask the person to put the pushchair down or if it is someone sitting there, ask them to move seats or stand so that the wheelchair user can be accommodated. However, a lot of drivers will not do this due to feeling uncomfortable backlash off the people he is asking to move or in some cases threats.

This has often resulted in insults thrown at the wheelchair user, threats of violence but more than often the bus just not stopping. In the time I have been using a wheelchair I have heard horror stories both personally and in the news about some people having to let three buses go past before one has stopped and let them on, or even worse waiting in a queue only for other people in the queue step over them to get on the bus before them as if they are nothing but a piece of luggage instead of a human being waiting in line, like everyone else with a valid right to get on the bus in turn.

Trains

Trains can be hit and miss. Personally, I have had both good and not so good experiences with this both though Virgin and LNER only on the main line from Newcastle to London but have not had the dubious pleasure of using local rail transport, again from what other people have told me, it’s been a blessing that I haven’t as from what I understand it has ranged from trains not having accessible carriages, no useable toilets, no ramps or staff to help and sometimes no lifts or access to or from the stations. My bad experiences include being forgotten about and left at the end destination at Kings Cross, nearly tipping off the ramp due to people crowding and trying to rush me off for them to get on, no access to a toilet due to cases and people standing in front of the toilet and blocking corridors, cases being left near the exit as there was no room on the luggage rack.

In this day and age transport and buildings should be one of the first things that developers, architects, and designers should be looking at when it comes to being totally inclusive. An inclusive transport network would make life much easier not just for anyone in a wheelchair but for everyone.

THE DAY THE WORLD NEVER CHANGED

A lot happened since I last sat down to write anything. The idea had been to start doing news pieces still around disability and mental health issues but more generic and fun then so dark and gloomy and not always from my point of few. Unfortunately, that has not happened.

When I first started this blog it was to chart my progress on the run up to my amputations, the recovery and what happened next. It then grew into something more for me than just an online diary that people may or may not be interested in reading. It became a voice, a way to tell people and show people exactly how difficult life could be when you are disabled, but also to show others in similar situations that there is hope and to inspire people to get out there and start living their lives the best way that they can.

Now instead of finding fun light-hearted things to inspire me to write about, life keeps throwing me curve balls, so all I write about is the injustice, discrimination and exclusion people with disabilities deal with on a day to day biases.

I thought growing up in the ’70s, before things such as the equality act came into being, that the future for anyone with any kind of disability would be brighter. But let’s face it here we are in the 21^st century and hate crimes or on the rise (just the fact they had to introduce a new law to cover these things says everything), and society is far from accessible or understanding at all, if anything I would say it’s less accessible in some ways, far less understanding and tolerant (and not just about disabilities) and less accepting.

Recently my son who has ASD and Tibia Torshin and my daughter were attacked on their way home from school, simply because he is autistic. Due to not being able to get a rise from my son who was trying his best to get home, they pushed his sister’s buttons, knowing that this would upset my son, trying to encourage her to fight. When my daughter refused they knew the way to get my daughter to lose her temper was to “trigger” my son, which they did. They did this by taking his bag, taking his pens and pencils out of his top pocket and knocking and throwing around his papers. This got them the reaction they wanted and he lashed out, hitting one of the kids who were in the midst of it setting off his triggers, name calling him, hurling abuse and mimicking his walking and talking. My daughter and son ended up getting kicked to the ground and repeatedly kicked in the sides, back, legs and in my sons head.

No one has been brought to justice over this, despite threats being made the week before about my daughter getting jumped through prank phone calls, despite ongoing talks with the school due to kids and teachers attitudes and bullying and despite reporting attacks that have happened previously to my daughters because their brother is autistic to the police. The children involved closed ranks, their families closed ranks and other people who saw what happened were too scared to say anything to the police for fear of reprisals. I even got accused of playing the victim, apparently having nothing better to do and my children accused of being trouble makers.

Welcome to a snapshot of equality and inclusion for anyone with a disability in the 21^st century.

There are still so many businesses out there that do not understand what inclusion for people who have disabilities actually means. “But they make all toilets accessible now to everyone as not all disabilities are visible! “I hear you shout, and your right, but we still have people having to change their teenage child or adult on a dirty bathroom floor for the sake of extra space to put a full changing space in. “But public transport has disabled spaces!” another thing you shout at me and yes they do….but you see people won’t move out of the space if someone in a wheelchair needs to get on that bus. There has been plenty of stories in the press lately about people in wheelchairs being stranded by bus drivers, having abuse hurled at them by the other passengers for holding the bus up or even having to let 2 or 3 buses go past before they could get on one with the wheelchair space free. Now am not saying people with buggies should stop using buses, but it is my understanding (I refuse to use buses due to these exact reasons and how much anxiety it actually causes me, I would rather just not go out!), that there is one side for prams and one side for wheelchairs, if that is so then why is it not enforced if someone using a wheelchair needs to get on the bus? When I was younger (fair enough buses back then were not disabled accessible at all !!), but anyone who had a pram had to put it down and store it, just like you would if you were using a car and putting it in the boot. Half the time people are leaving the prams up and then the child is getting out and walking to a seat anyway, so wouldn’t it just make more sense to fold and store? I know the struggle of trying to manage a small child, a baby and bags of shopping whilst trying to fold and unfold a pram, but you did it, you managed, you had too.

I still get confronted every day by discrimination in various forms, even sometimes from friends and extended family (not all of them unintentional either, but that’s another blog post), and it can be disheartening, to say the least, and sometimes if your mood is not good it can lead to depressing thoughts that make you wonder why you bother and why you keep trying to be part of society let alone a productive one.

So what happened to the bright shiny future we were all promised? , the 21^st century being all inclusive for everyone, everyone would be equal, no more segregation, no more discrimination?

In my opinion, for what it’s worth ( and after all it is my blog), sometimes there are days I stop and look around and honestly think it is worse now with exclusion and inequality towards disabilities then we ever were when I was a child.

 Now there’s food for thought.

Discrimination I tick all the boxes aren’t I lucky?

I have often heard the word “discrimination” being bandied about, a lot, in the last ten to fifteen years. I never saw myself as being discriminated against though. Not when I was a child and I had to wear calipers, not as a young adult who had to wear surgical boots. It wasn’t until my last amputation which has ended up with me in a wheelchair due to other health issues, have I felt discriminated against.

Employers discriminate against me, travel companies, friends, strangers, hotels, events, venues, I could go on, and hell even inanimate objects discriminate me!

This is not just because am an amputee but because am in a wheelchair. In fact I seem to tick all the boxes when it comes to people to shame, hate or discriminate against. I am disabled I have no legs and am in a wheelchair, this means am lazy, scrounger, pulling a fast one, unable to hold a conversation, understand what is being said to me or indeed hear ! God forbid I have feelings, like sex, (yes I have been asked that) have romantic intentions, enjoy compliments (other than a pat on the head and a “good girl”, I sometimes feel like either panting and whining like a dog at this point or wheel myself over to a window and start licking it), let’s not forget the looks which are a mix of horror, morbid fascination and surprise when people find out that I am a wife, mother,

business woman running her own company or studying for a degree.

Then you need to add the weight. I must eat everything in sight, it’s my fault am this big, I have let myself go, am disgusting, no one could want to be with me, how can I be married or have children being this old. Now I see this kind of fat shaming all over the place. The latest being a picture going around on the internet of a girl dressed as Harley Quinn with the caption “she must have ate the squad” https://www.facebook.com/Deadpoolisasavage/?hc_ref=SEARCH Mate you’re a dick!! And while am at it https://www.facebook.com/keith.harris.3154284 you are a dick as well. What if we got hundreds of people to comment on a photo, a REAL photo of you and you had a big nose or spots or wore glasses or had freckles. Would you like to have this picture put around the internet with some derogatory comment so that anyone and everyone can have a pop at insulting you or discussing your size and whether or not you should or should not be cosplaying a character? Do people actually have any idea how this makes a person feel?Yes am calling them out on social media, whats good for goose is good for gander so they say. so if it is acceptable to fat shame some on on Facebook then it is acceptable to shame some one for being a dick. I myself am a lot bigger than the person they are insulting and I sometimes cosplay.

It can take a lot of courage and confidence to do some cosplays and I have in the past let my size and my disability dictate my costumes…no more. My weight is not from eating too much, it’s down to the amputation, not being mobile enough or being able to exercise the way I used to, medication am on that causes weight gain, and have six beautiful, highly intelligent children, IBS, Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. So no not pizza, or sweets, although am partial to crisps – but only salt and vinegar though.

Finally add my age. I am past…. Well… Pretty much everything according some people. Having fun, flirting, University, cosplaying, going to events, being a nerd just to name a few. Oh and we can’t forget the best one, the fact I have six kids. Obviously I only had them to scrounge off the tax payer and the state, because, you know I have NEVER EVER worked…yea so the last 31 years must have all been a dream then? Going to work with plasters on after major surgery to my feet, back at work three month after a double below knee amputation, signing on at the dole to look for work whilst waiting for a fitting for new legs, going to interviews with my stump boards on and no legs….I could go on but what’s the point.

Now if you add all of this together, you end up being treat like shit, ignored and feeling inside that you are unattractive, unappealing, waste of space and a sub human, non-sexualized as you don’t count.  

You are left wondering why you bother trying to live your life like everyone else or try to enjoy what others do. You give up trying to make an effort with your hair, makeup or clothes – why should you? No one cares, no one notices you are still treat less than anyone else who puts in less effort.  You are left wondering “ should I starve myself to try and force my body to lose weight? “ or “ who cares, why should I care what I eat any more instead of restricting myself and being good – sod it – am going to stuff my face, makes no difference any way does it? Still going to be seen and treat the same way.

You’re not seen as a person or a women you feel like you are seen as nothing more than a lump in a wheelchair, an inconvenience, someone to either feel sorry for or to ignore because you don’t know what to say are how to react ( for future reference, the same as you do to anybody else who isn’t in a chair !), hey I get it, who the hell would want to be reminded just how fragile life is, that this is something that could happen to anyone at any time on any day. No one wants that shit rubbed in their face now do they.

There are a lot of people banging on about equality in recognising disabilities as not all are visible. I get this, I really do people need to understand that the person using the blue badge may look perfectly healthy but they could just be having a good day, or have some health issue you are not aware about, so it is unfair to say they do not deserve that blue badge and parking space. But I often wonder if it’s not easier having an invisible illness or disability? No one knows unless you tell them. Until that point, or even maybe after that point as well with it not being visible and in their faces, people treat you no different. You’re a woman / man, attractive, a sexual being who likes compliments and being flirted with who is capable and people wouldn’t be surprised if you went to university or got married, had a job or started your own business.

You see, am so used to this crap that most days I can ignore it, but there are days I cannot. This weekend whilst working I could not. In your personal life being treat like that is bad enough, but when it is in your professional life. When you are looked down on and treat differently to all the other professionals who are there for the same reason just because you are in a wheelchair, with no legs. When, for the same reasons, you are blocked from interviews that have already been arranged, that you are made to feel that your business isn’t good enough, big enough or the people you write for are not important enough, that’s bad….real bad.

Me before you ? Are disabled lives worth less? #liveboldly

So there has been a lot of controversy over the new film by Warner Bros “Me before you”, especially over the pond. I haven’t seen anything on the news about it but plenty over social media and not so many complaining from the UK either. Now I can’t comment on the film as I have not seen it, nor do I intend to see the film it’s a chick flick and not my thing, but I have seen the trailer and the various points made by the disabled community.

Follow the link to see a video from center for Disability Rights  https://www.facebook.com/rochestercdr/videos/10153969290727550/

I can honestly say I can see where people are coming from regarding how it portrays disabled people, it basically says one of two things from what I have seen. The first being someone who is disabled needs an abled bodied person to make their life complete and show them how to live and secondly that if you are disabled then your life is over, you’re screwed and it’s not worth continuing with. I do think that some of the comments regarding it sending a message of just kill yourself might be a bit extreme but again I can see how it would seem that way. From as far back as I remember Hollywood has always used the infirm, disabled and disfigured as victims, evil villain (apart from Denzel Washington in The Bone Collector, but that was so ridiculous in my opinion don’t get me started on that one), or a figure of ridicule, needing rescuing or /and unable to do anything for themselves, the feeble side kick. Black actors complain about being left out of the Oscars but disabled actors are left out of the film industry.

I think, for me personally, the biggest issue I have is the fact that there are so many actors out there who have a disability, but Hollywood still pick abled bodied actors to play the roles. Why? Is it as simple as big names draw people and up the coffers in box office sales? Too scared to try an unknown?  I am a member of Amputees in Hollywood and a few years ago I answered a casting call to play Gazelle in The Kingsman due to being a double knee amputee and that was the criteria they were looking for. Lo and behold they picked a perfectly healthy and fit dancer who had both her legs and green screened the running blades. Now fair enough am no stick thin, sporty type far from it,( in fact weebles wobble but don’t fall down would better describe me) but like other people before me the weight could have been lost, I could have worn the running blades and the stunts still would have been carried out using stunt doubles or green screen and wires. However this said I may not have fit the director’s image of how she would look facially or age wise. Each director/producer has an idea or image of how their characters look or sound before casting begins so we can’t just say “you must pick a disabled person to play a disabled role” it’s not that simple, but it would be nice if they looked more at disabled actors first and not just automatically count them out.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see someone who was disabled being the hero for once? Or save the day? Ones I can think of is Rear Window with Christopher Reeve and Dare Devil. Win the girl because of their charm and sex appeal not out of sympathy or compassion. When I do reviews at Film conventions, one of the reasons I try to talk to the actors is to find out how they feel about things like this in the film industry including mental health.

I hope these people that are posting it all over social media and protesting against the message the film is sending, realize that all they are doing is helping fill the film companies’ coffers. As they say in Hollywood there is no such thing as bad publicity. All this is going to drive people who otherwise would not have bothered with the film to go and see what all the fuss is about. However I cannot see the film industry or Hollywood changing the way they act any time soon just because people are protesting, personally I think they will rub their fat, greedy little hands together and pat each other on the back at a job well done and about how the critics and the protesters are lining their pockets. Well played Hollywood, Well played.

SHOWMASTERS FILM AND COMIC CONVENTIONS

SHOWMASTERS FILM AND COMIC CONVENTION MANCHESTER

21^ST – 22^ND OF MAY 2016 EVENT CITY.

Review by Darren Green photography by Annabelle Clark.

Written by Jennifer Clark

Yet again Event City played host to Showmasters Film and Comic Convention in Manchester.  We sent down two volunteers to scope the venue out, review the event and talk to the cosplayers, attendees and the guests. So off went Annabelle and Darren on the Megabus early on a Saturday morning at 6 am to spend the day at the convention.

The venue was very spacious and easy to navigate for someone in a wheelchair. There where spare wheelchairs near to the entrance of the venue along with the toilets which were very spacious and also extremely accessible. For a change at an event like this there was also plenty of room in the aisle to access vendors, making it relatively easy for wheelchair users or families with prams to move around and view the wares on display.

As usual Showmasters offer free carer tickets upon application (good idea to send a copy of a carer’s letter for proof) for their events which allows one person to access the event for free when accompanying someone who needs assistance to attend an event like this due to ill health or disability. Like other events Showmasters have ran there was no area where someone could take a break if over stimulated, over stressed due to sensory overload and no changing facilities were noticed for older children or adults who may need personal care other than the standard baby changing facilities. Also there was no indication of anywhere for someone in a wheelchair or unable to stand for long periods to obtain a slip giving them preference or return time for autographs and pictures.

This ever popular event was very busy with queues lasting all day for guest’s autographs with the line-up including Michael Biehn best known for his role as Kyle Reese in Terminator and corporal Hicks in Aliens, Ken Kirzinger from Freddy Vs Jason, Noel Clarke from Dr Who and Star Trek and Dave Prowse best known as Darth Vader in Star wars along with many others. Staff where plentiful and available at all times coming across as very calm being able to direct you to where you needed to be and how to help with any issues you might be experiencing. Everything at the event was very well signposted so easy to find and as cosplaying is becoming ever more popular Showmasters had set aside an area for people to change and store their bags and was easily accessible for any one in a wheelchair. Both Darren and Annabelle got changed at the venue into their cosplay outfit and set out to brave the  crowds to look into every nook and cranny, interview attendees cosplaying and non-cosplaying and hopefully some guests to find out what they thought of the event, cosplaying and services on offer.

So Darren managed to talk to some fellow cosplayers regarding their views on the event.

He asked what people liked the most about cosplaying and attending the event and the general consensus was the atmosphere and how friendly everyone was, meeting new people who like the same things. Darren then asked how cosplaying made them feel. Again there were mixed answers to this but feeling that they are popular and people like them, giving them the confidence to approach people and ask questions were some of the most voiced reasons. Encouragement all round from cosplayers that he spoke to on anyone who is thinking of attending a Showmasters event in or out of cosplay and for those people who have always wanted to give it a go a resounding try it. I myself have attended conventions ran by Showmasters in cosplay in my wheelchair and have felt part of one big family where you are accepted no matter what.

So With the thumbs up from the cosplayers it was the turn of the general attendees and what they thought.  There was a mixed reaction regarding Cosplayers ranging from families who attend to see the costumes and the children who look forward to coming face to face with their heroes and posing for a picture and think they add to the event to people who thought that showmasters aimed to much towards the cosplaying community and not enough in providing bigger named stars outside of London or getting comic book artists to attend.

They managed to grab two minutes with legend Dave Prowse before leaving for the long lonely ride home on the mega bus. He was asked his opinion on people cosplaying as Darth Vader and cosplaying in general, if he thought it added to the conventions, “Yes it’s great to see someone dressed as Darth Vader and it is very flattering. Makes me feel like I have achieved something if I have instigated them to cosplay as a character I have played. Cosplaying is an accepted part of these conventions and I love seeing all the different costumes people attend in and all the hard work that has gone into making them.”

So as the sun sets over another successful day for Showmasters in Manchester our two intrepid reporters get changed and wearily tread off for the bus leaving fame and their adoring fans behind them to return to real life. When asked their personal opinions of the convention, services, staff and venue it was a huge thumbs up and well worth the early start.  So still room for some tweaking here and there and work on coordination, but definitely on the right path to make these shows more accessible to everyone.

IS THIS THE LONGEST AND WORST JANUARY EVER?

Being an amputee one of the biggest issues I have apart from not having access to places is the weather. I wasn't steady on my feet before but now that I have what effectively feel like stilts, its a whole lot worse.

The main issues are rain ( living in the UK is 80% of the time), ice/frost and snow. Apart from the issues of the cold causing problems with the joints due to other health issues I have, this weather turns me in to a virtual recluse or risking a serious fall. Because I do not have a flexible foot or ankle and the prosthetic comes up to my knee cap, it makes balance and bending in them very difficult.
The weather since Christmas has been all over the place. High winds that caused issues with balance and asthma for me, torrential rain which meant a huge chance of slipping every time I went in doors, snow which means no outside at all, and now the media is telling us that it is all to start again with server snow due to it the UK.

As if already having a list as long as your arm with health issues isn't enough it looks like more will be added to it this year as mentioned in the last blog. I am struggling with university already and as well as missing  a second deadline now,  we have only been back a week and have already missed two days being in for lectures, with more to come due to all the appointment's I have coming my way. Dad is having money going out of his account with nothing to account for it as due to the dementia he is forgetting to pay his bills. this is going to mean more appointment's with social services ( for what good it will do).

So as well as struggling with my own demons (my depression, which is not uncommon for people with serious health issues or amputations to battle with), my health issues and university but I have my dads ill health to deal with and lack of control of pain. I can't speak for other people who are disabled but the hardest thing I  am finding at the moment is trying to do what every one else takes for granted, sometimes just keeping my head above water is a struggle. Being disabled to me means having to work harder to be "normal" like every one else. Things I used to take for granted and most of you still more then likely do, can be the biggest struggle for me.

Just getting up in the morning is a battle. Moving to sit up and get out of bed can be so painful it makes you cry. Getting ready can be a struggle so you need someone to help getting things on or off. Don't even talk to me about the shower ! The act of showering and the pressure of the water on my skin can sometimes be so painful that just having the show can set off a major fibro flare. Not to mention dropping stuff on the floor or things out of reach you just cant reach as you have no balance to do so ( weebles wobble but they dont fall down....unless you have no legs on and reach for something and go  face first into the floor ).  Then we should talk about the holding cups, forks and dropping everything, pins and needles in the hands, not being able to pick things up......the list goes on and I still push myself to attend appointments, university, sort out my dad and working on The Psych Twins. Can't wait for the new additions from the things am waiting to hear about.( thats sarcasm by the way, just in case you missed it).

These are what I suffer from at the moment :
amputee with phantom limb pains and nerve damage
Fibromyalgia
sleep aneapa
chronic fatigue syndrome
Arthritis - rheumatoid and osteo
rynalds
circulation problems
IBS
depression
and waiting on news about heart and cancer......I think thats everything, comes to something when you cant remember everything you have been labeled with.

With everything going on with me and my family, the amount of famous people who are loved by society dying, the news is full of death, disasters and the government screwing us over even more,but trying to stay positive so looking forward to what is to come this year.

The Psych Twins will be attending Walker Stalker in February to do reviews for access, Newcastle comic con reviewing March, Hero conventions in Edinburgh in April reviewing access, Asylum 16 and City of Heros 2 promoting ourselves in May, Metro unleashed promoting ourselves in June and Screen Con in Tynemouth promoting ourselves in July and as long as there are no more financial disasters the main thing am looking forward to is my  three week holiday to Florida in the USA.

so even though reading through the list of aliments I have makes me wonder how I function or even get up at all, I still have things to look forward to. Now if I could just work out how to stay upright in the snow.....

COMICS, HERO'S AND VILLAIN'S AND NO AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

Its been a very busy weekend for The Amputee diaries, I along with DC Photography (my husband) and my daughter, we hit Film and Comic Con Newcastle this weekend.

Again we where lucky enough to be able to attend one of Showmasters celebration of all things film and geek. Lots of fun was had and we both entered the spirit of the occasion by Cos-playing for the two days. For anyone that is not aware what happens or what a Film and Comic Convention is all about or what Cos-playing is read on.

Cos-Playing put simply is when you dress up as your favorite character from a film, TV show, comic or game and these conventions are all about celebrating all things geeky and that is wonderful about these things we are passionate about. Now don't get me wrong some people take this very seriously indeed. Hours, days sometimes even months go in to making very detailed props and costumes that are screen accurate (not to mention money). Others do their interpretation of the character they have chosen to be, there is no right or wrong in this world where everyone is accepted and everyone is equal. Complete strangers are willing to pose for photos with you or on their own, where you get asked to pose for other people, where people are interested in how long it took you to make your head piece or instantly recognize who you are dressed as, family's can attend to have fun, little ones can dress up and pose with their favorite characters from film and comics, stuff that ordinary shops don't sell can be bought and for a fee you can get a photograph or autograph from a famous celebrity out of your favorite film or TV show, or your favorite author or artist from the comic world.

These events are great for meeting and making new friends, having a day out with the little ones or just collecting memorabilia and autographs. What ever your thing you will find it here. There is no judgement, there is gender bend costumes, home made costumes and professional Cos Players rubbing shoulders with non cos Players and stars of the big and little screen.  However it was sad to see that not many disabled people or wheelchair users at these events. There is help there, just well hidden which is where I come in. This weekend I only saw one other person in a wheelchair Cos Playing.

There is a darker side to the Conventions and believe it or not, regardless of how accepting they are bullying can sometimes still be an issue. Speaking to a lot of Cos Players over the weekend, most get involved for the same reasons I
do, its freeing. A couple of hours not worrying about your disability, life, anxiety, depression, stress,
being accepted for who you are with like minded people.A lot talked about how they where bullied at school for various reasons and attending the conventions, Cos Playing has helped with that. Its helped them to see that there is nothing wrong with them it was the people who bullied them that had the problem. This is why it is so sad to see it happening between Cos Players, especially in an environment where you should feel safe.  Its sad to say that some of the  Cos Players (mainly at the bigger cons), do suffer from bullying, why? because their costumes aren't screen accurate, because they are showing  too much flesh or because some one thinks they are the wrong shape or size to play a certain character, this can put some people off from Cos Playing for the first time as they may already be anxious or stop some one from doing it again, words hurt, but this will be something I will cover in a different blog when doing another review for a  convention.

So if this event is so great to be why haven't I heard of it? I hear you scream (or you should be screaming). These kinds of things do not seem to be advertised main stream so unless you know some one who attends them or you are into the Marvel world, DC fanatic or Star wars Fan you may have missed the opportunity to attend one till now. My first convention was back in March 2015 at Newcastle at a Showmasters event. I was hooked. I had heard of the conventions the most famous one being the San Diego one in the US (if anyone would like to donate a ticket or press pass for that one it would be appreciated) but had never thought to go to one, why? because I was disabled and in a wheelchair.

I am always aware that not all places are accessible and like most people who have a disability I panic and therefore try to plan in advance for every eventuality even down to the smallest detail. Will there be an accessible entrance? where is it? will there be lifts? can I get round the stalls?  where are the toilets? will they be big enough to get in with my wheelchair? what happens if I want a photo with the celeb? the list is endless. Now I think I know what you might be thinking here - But aren't all venues accessible now due to the disability act? No funny enough they are not. This could be due to the age of the building, it being listed or just bad design etc. I once went to book a hotel in London who claimed to be accessible but had steps up to the front entrance, their answer was some one could come out and carry me up the steps ????? You also have to think about the people who organize these events. Disabled accessible might mean the doors are wide and there is a wide disabled toilet and  lift. They don't think about other things like, getting up to the front entrance, is the toilet wide enough to get a wheelchair in and another person if a carer is needed? how easy is it to get to the lift? are the aisles wide enough, getting around equipment and most importantly (to me anyway), do the staff know how to deal with this? Now a lot of disabled people don't mind asking for help or even accepting help but there are some who don't want to ask some one else for help or accept it  when help is offered or who want to be as independent as possible when out and about and this is what event organizers need to be aware of as well as their staff and volunteers.

So off I went to my third comic con that Showmasters have organised. The one in March I found very confusing, was un aware of what help was available and don't even mention trying to get around the stalls to look ! The second one was up in Glasgow which I thought the venue was excellent, downside however was the lack of information from staff and the lack of staff to be honest.
The venue in Newcastle is the Metro Arena  very good and very accessible, The parking is £5 per day for the full day unless you have blue badges then it is free. However the disabled parking spaces are limited. Access into the venue is good and there are plenty of staff on hand to open doors and help you in. Every thing for the convention is on the level and showmasters got everything right this time. There was enough space to get around the food stands, accessing the prop shoots was easy enough, with enough room to maneuver around the area. Although I didn't have any photos with stars taken this time and it will always be like a conveyor belt, access and staff helpfulness though was excellent. Whilst David was having a photo shoot with Colin Baker they took me down  to wait at the other side for him collecting his picture with out any fuss or awkwardness.

This year they had added changing rooms for male and female cos players which where situated upstairs but where accessible to everyone via a lift if needed. The registration desk was accessible and the staff helpful and informative. I learnt that they have an email address to contact should you need extra help ( I will put it at the end of the blog), carers can go free with no restrictions on buying photo ops or autographs or taking part in any talks, Some evidence my be required such as DLA letter, Carers letter or a photo copy of you blue badge. You will also be given a slip of paper which you  can then show to the pit bosses, who wear red. This will get you help and access to  all photo shoots as quickly as possible, enter any autograph queue without needing a virtual ticket. This was a brilliant idea, shame no one informed us of this at Glasgow. Also found out that should you have a child or adult with ASD or ADHD that needs a quiet place to calm down then they will be able to sort that out as well.
There are disabled toilets on either side on the ground floor that are accessible with the use of a radar key. There are staff on hand that have the key. On one side the person was next to the disabled toilet but on the other side there was no one around and my daughter had to walk to the bottom of the corridor to the nearest person in a yellow coat to ask who had the key. Luckily it was her but had it been some one else that could have been a huge problem, especially for some one on their own or who could not be left unattended or who had any kinds of control issues. My advice bring your own key as I believe radar keys are all the same but check. The other downside was where to get the key from was not made obvious.
Nothing was said at the front desk and there where no notices on the door of the toilet

or wall. The person I spoke to showsec?? Refused to answer any questions on disability training etc as they had been told not to give any interviews, very strange.

The lay out of the room was much better this time, The big blue boards that they had at the end of each aisle had gone and for some reason the aisles looked more spaced out. That could have been down to this event being quieter then the one at Glasgow and in March at Newcastle, but the difference was amazing ! easy to get around, get to the traders and plenty of staff on hand to help out. Bravo Showmasters you might have cracked this  venue. However I would be very interested to see how they work at other venues like  London, Brighton or Manchester. I mean do they follow the same training and format for all staff? if so at the registration in Glasgow why wasn't I told about the extra help? How come in March nothing was signposted for disabled use? These are things that still need to be worked on in my opinion.

I also would love to go to other organizers events to compare who they deal with disability issues etc so watch this space as we will try to get answers there as well. Having looked at MCM, Hero Conventions and Rogue Events there is not a lot of information, Showmasters have the email address to contact if there is an accessibility or health concern. Rogue have a contact email to register a carer to go for free or they charge a large fee to have a pa available to you should you be on your own, However unlike show masters the carer is not allowed to purchase photo ops or autographs unless they have bought a full price ticket, bit harsh if you ask me. MCM and Hero convention there is no mention of disabled access, families or carers and under contact there is a general inquiry email address. Of course there is also comparing it to how the USA deal with their comic cons and disability issues, carers or families with special needs, so again something I would love to  take a look at.

To be honest I think these conventions and businesses should take things like this more seriously. At the end of the day who knows how much business you could be missing out on? Employers should be thinking about this as well because as we are well aware the government are determined to cut benefits and are deeming all and sundry fit for work, if so is your company disabled friendly? are your staff trained on how to talk to some one about mental health or how to approach offering help to some one in a wheelchair? I don't think they are. Every where I go it is disturbing to see just how many businesseswrite off the disabled customer /user. Think about it .

You can see more images from the Film and Comic Con Newcastle by going to thepsychtwins.bravesites.com or http://dcphotographysunderland.photofolio.org/

For more information on Showmasters go to http://www.showmastersevents.com/

To contact Showmasters for extra help conatact Samatha at extrahelp@showmastersevents.com

THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE WHOLE TRUTH

The thing I hear the most often is how am an inspiration. That's good, am glad. To have some one to see you as the reason that they get up in the morning, or push themselves that little bit harder or further, to know that when they think they are at the edge of their limits and can not take anymore or no longer fight, to know that because of you and what you can do helps them to keep going that little bit longer, to fight that little bit harder.

What I don't understand are the number of disabled people out there that don't like being told their an inspiration to some one. They feel that in some way it belittles them and their disability and what they live with. Why? If because of the fight and struggles that I have to go through to do what I do, not just live day to day but go above and beyond my limitations, that makes just one person stop and say " I can do this, if she can ." or " maybe my life isn't so hard" and it puts things in to context for them before they spiral out of control down the rabbit hole, why wouldn't you want to help?
As unpopular as this might make me, some people with disabilities are too hung up on their disability, they let it define them, control them and they have deeper issues to deal with themselves, such as coming to terms with what has happened to them. Yes life is unfair, yes its terrible that it is you who ended up the way you did and you never got to do this or you got cut off in your prime or you feel some how that you have had your life that should have been snatched away. That is no reason to make other people squirm, feel uncomfortable or worry what they say to you, is it?

There is another thing. What is with this whole "don't use this term" or " don't label me as this". I have news for you, the only one discriminating with the language or labeling is you. If you did't make a big song and dance of it people wouldn't think about it. Now people tread on eggshells whenever they see some one with a disability or in a wheelchair terrified of speaking to them or helping them or even holding a bloody door open for them just in-case they offend that person or get their heads ripped off. Trust me I was born with Congenital Bilateral Talipes, at a time when children with any form of disability physical or mental was put in a home or special school.

My mam fought the system for me to attend a main stream school. I grew up In an age when there was no rights for disabled people, no adaptations nothing. You would walk down the street and have people look at you in disgust and  cross over, spit at you, and am talking about grown adults not kids...this is what I grew up with  from the age of 8 / 9 years old.  Name calling in the street, people moving there kids away from me or not letting them sit next to me on the bus in case they "caught" something. By the time I left school in the mid 80's getting a job once you showed them the bloody registration green card to prove you where registered disabled, one of two things happened. You where either hired straight away as they needed to get their minority figures up (got to love the government for there bloody stats. See they where always target driven pen pushing idiots), even if you could't do the damn job or you where too much of a liability and would take too much time off .

At least now we have things in place that doesn't allow that. But hold on? Isn't that exactly whats happening now? Could it be because we have got too far up our own arses about our rights we are now making it easy to  be villianized by the government making employers think twice? Making people see us as nothing but scroungers on the system? You know how they like their scape goats. Am sure I also heard something in the news about a card system so you can register as disabled? funny that isn't it?
Over the years I have managed to fit in one group or another that has been villianized by the government, media or the public in general. Hell in fact now I see how many I can fit into in one go.

 It started off with being disabled, then it moved onto large families, if you had more then two kids you where getting pregnant for the money..I have six , worked with every single one of them. Every-time I had a child I got a better paid job.

Been told four times am not fit to work. Now am working towards a degree and starting my own business because I have become unhireable due to my health issues. Then it was because am obese. That made me a target to be fat shamed, ridiculed ( good job i was used to that from being a kid, god knows I might have actually been offended) and again labeled as a scrounger because due to no fault of my own I became over weight. Nothing to do with having six kids, two amputations, being stuck in a wheelchair or the medication that makes you gain weight, hell don't even think about the health conditions themselves that make you balloon up!
Wasn't there even that half baked woman who thought she was famous because she was mouthy, made videos on you tube like millions of others? thought it was acceptable to "fat shame", that's right she wasn't half as famous or untouchable as she thought she was as she got her ass canned by her company.
 Unless you are overweight ad a not talking about a "pot belly" or carrying a few extra pounds, am talking about carrying the upholstery of a sofa like me, then you have no idea what you have to deal with, you don't need some one mouthing off on how disgusting you are, how much of a mess you look, how you make them feel sick when they look at you. Do you not think we feel the same? I know I do. Every day I struggle to make myself look good, or at least so people will not think I look a mess or feel good. Every day I feel the stares just off me being larger then most, the whispers (although it makes a change from the stares and whispers about the legs or the wheelchair) The consent battle to find clothes, nice clothes, clothes that make you feel like a women and you are not wearing a tent. That's not to mention the fact that instantly you are de sexualized. Men /women no longer flirt with you, say nice things about you or to you in fear that they will be called by their friends for being  a "chubby chaser".  Every women , regardless of age, size,ability or marital status wants to feel attractive, to be told the're attractive, to still be desirable.

But that doesn't happen, you fall into those categories then you become invisible. You watch every body else being flirted with, having fun being told how beautiful they are and the most you get if you are lucky? One of two things. A) shame a pretty girl like you is stuck in that( or some version of that where your looks are disfigured by the wheelchair/ disability) or B) you don't sweat much for a fat lass. Hell am totally screwed, good job am married to a man who loves me for me really as you couple the weight with no legs (often seen as a fetish ) and in a wheelchair I would be a non person on the dating scene, unless I was picked up by some one who had a fetish for one or all three of those things. Then again I was once asked to do photos for an amputee fetish site and still got insulted by being told " your not the normal size they like, your a bit big really but am sure they are men out there who are in to bigger amputees who might see you as beautiful...... ". Me and my husband have actually lost count over the years how many times we have been asked if he was a devotee and is that why he married me.
 Yea go figure !
Then came the disabled (again). The disabled need their benefits cut, disabled are all pulling a fast one. We are all layabouts who don't want to work and make all the hard working, tax paying people of this country sub us. Yea I admit there are people out there who say they have a bad back and can't work who then get up a ladder to tile a roof or lay a carpet, (obviously not whilst up a ladder..but hey who knows). But that's a very small amount compared to the millions who really do need the help. I have worked since leaving school at 16. When no one would hire me due to my disability I went on training programs. I would write a 100 letters a week for jobs. All I wanted was for people to give me a chance and that's what it feels like am having to do all over again. Justifying why am not working, why I chose to have six kids, why am overweight, justifying why I wont get annoyed about labels and terminology people use to me. Get real. I have bigger problems the worrying if some one is taking the piss out of me by holding a door open, in fact am grateful !

I tell you what gets my goat. People who are bitter about their lot in life. People who can't see past their own hatred and bigotry,  People who tell me that I can't call myself something or use a certain phrase in connection with myself. Why? if I want to say that am wheelchair bound how does that effect you? If I want to make a joke and say I haven't got a leg to stand on, tell me how is that offensive to you? Am taking the mick out of me, I can do that if I want. I really do not need you to think or make my decisions for me. You know whats EVEN worse then that? When it's some one who is not disabled..sorry able bodied? bipeds? sorry not sure of this weeks new PC term, or some one who has recently became disabled and has not had to live their whole lives like that. Normally (and am not saying all before you try to lynch me), they would have no interest, concern or reason to look into how disability terms are used or how people are effected by it. Then by some unfortunate stroke of fate they find themselves in that situation. All of a sudden how you are "labeled " becomes a big deal. Believe it or not am just as guilty for it. Before the amputation I had no idea what life was like for some one who used a wheelchair all the time. How much it impacted on the day to day things not just for them but for their friends and family. Now I do, but that hasn't stopped me from living my life trying to inspire others to push their limits.

Nor has it stopped me from being the most un Politically correct person you will ever come across and long may I reign.


(If you find yourself effected by any of the above issues and need to talk, you can get in touch with me at thepsychtwins.bravesites.com or through our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/psychtwinsfundraising/?ref=tn_tnmn)