BULLYING

I thought to be a disabled child and in mainstream school was bad during the ’70s and ’80s before the Equality Act 2010 and its predecessor the disability act of 1985, but how wrong could I be?

I look at the kids who are going to school today who have anything that is different about them, not just a disability and my heart brakes. What’s worse is it is now happening in the workplace.

Instead of things being more inclusive, accepting and equal, it appears to be even more judgemental, harsh and segregated than ever. My son is Autistic and has been bullied the whole time through school, but things have steadily got worse as the years have gone on. As he has learned not to give in to his bullies, to feed their narcissistic satisfaction of reacting, they soon learned that the way to get to him was through his little sisters and touching his books and pens. This resulted in this year, him and one of his younger sisters being surrounded by 20 kids and jumped on, being beaten to the ground, hit with sticks, having stones thrown at them, their things thrown around, bags jumped on, name-calling and my son having his legs, sides , and head kicked . All this just outside the school gates, when the crowd was starting to form at 20 strong, the teacher on gate duty walked up, told them to disperse and when he got sworn at turned his back and walked away. The school's reason for this? Because he’s not insured outside the school gates and the teachers union would have kicked off if he had been injured. What happened to being a decent human being? What happened to be in that type of career because you care? If that teacher had stayed with my son and daughter, then they would not have been assaulted.

The school's solution to all of this? To separate my son, for my son to be the one removed from the class and his friends, for my son to have to get into school early so he can get into his classes before his bullies show up. For my son to have to go to a special room on his breaks and for my son to be the one who has to leave school 5 minutes before the bell in order not to get trapped in school or walking home at the same time as the people who assaulted him. The police? They could not get one witness out of the 20 children who surrounded them to give the 3 boys names up that had physically and verbally attacked my son. The police wanted to prosecute under the hate crime law, something that I believe as not yet happened to a minor in this country and the exact reason this law had been brought into effect for.

This is just one example of bullying today on our streets and in our schools, not to mention the unseen bullying that takes place every day in the workplace. Just because we are adults does not mean we are exempt.

The police seem to have their hands tied between the perpetrators having such sway over a certain sector or people or area, to people being too scared to come forward, to their own crown prosecution who won’t take a case to court unless they can guarantee a definite win and besides, don’t like prosecuting children.

Schools are just as bad. They're too scared of upsetting parents of children who are out of line, for fear of being accused of discrimination, repercussions from the law as the law seems to more and more to support the lawless. Teachers more and more are wrapped up in paperwork, red tape, and bureaucracy. What’s even worse is that more and more teaching staff seem to be just as bad as the kids that are doing it. I hear more instances every day of not just children being the bullies, but the teachers as well. What’s worse is it no longer stops at the school gates, thanks to social media platforms and the internet the bullies can no access their victims 24/7. Parents who don’t enforce the rules because they don’t see the point “as everyone is doing it/ on it” or simply they don’t care, not interested or just can’t be bothered with the aggravation of standing up to their little precious. Not only that but so many of these parents have no idea exactly what their little darlings are getting up to on or offline.

What about social media platforms? What are they doing about this epidemic? Well as much as they lawfully have to, which is nothing much. They have rules, if it’s reported and their not inundated/ lose it /or can be bothered they will send a warning message to the little darling or adult (let’s not forget that this happens to adults as well!). Who is causing the pain, they will post up the rules to be ignored by everyone and they might even go so far as to ban, for a short time anyway, the person in the wrong, just until they can make another “fake” account of course.

And what about the victim? They go on as before, feeling unsupported, lost and alone. If they are lucky they will have a supporting family or network to help get them through this, which by the way, can last for years. My son doesn’t leave the house when he’s not at school, panics about walking home, went from a boy who loved learning and wanting to go to University to someone who struggles every day with depression and hates going to school as he just wants to leave and completely has a meltdown if he is stuck in the open on his own

I thought bullying was bad when I was at school, but at least I left my bullies at the school gates, the teachers had time to care and to listen and the police did actually have power. At least when I was a child, the bullies where stilled scared of their own parents and still worried about the consequences.

www.jcdtalks.com
www.jcdisabilityconsultant.com
Facebook: The Psych Twins/JC Disability Talks