Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts

Sunday, 27 December 2015

THAT IN-BETWEEN STUFF

Christmas means different things to different people. To most it's supposed to be a time with family, to have fun, over eat and be jolly. What about the people it effects differently? The lonely, the people dealing with mental health issues and depression and the homeless.

Loneliness and depression effect different people in different ways. Having recently been diagnosed with depression this month and being put on anti depressants it is not something I would wish on anyone. Things just got on top of me and found it really difficult to cope. Between my health getting worse, issues with my heart, cancer scare and dealing with my dads dementia diagnosis's it all become too much and I ended taking time off university. It can be a very debilitating thing to experience. Feeling disjointed, empty, everything looks grey and muted.

The anti depressants that I have been put on for the last month are duloxetine. The main problem I am having with them is the drowsiness during the day and the limb pain. A night time is horrific. The phantom limb pain feels like a cross between pins and needles /numbness and electrical firing with small shards of glass digging into my legs. This feeling goes up from the end of my stump all the way to just below my knee.
Due to this, since starting the anti depressants I have yet to have a good full nights sleep which is draining to say the least.

I also hate to admit that I have to acknowledge how much the pain killers actually do help after running out of them this festive period. I suppose like most people I thought that I would be better off with out the pain killers, that they would be easy to give up if I wanted to because, hey what good did they do anyway? They didn't take the pain away, in fact taking smarties would have more use..so I thought. Like I said it wasn't until I went with out them all together for the last 4 days that I actually found out just how much of the pain they did dull. They might not take all of it away but they sure as hell tone it down. I felt like a junkie gagging for a fix when David came back with the prescription from the chemist.
On top of the phantom limb pain there was the bone pain, knees, elbows, back, hips and wrists with the arthritis not to mention the swelling and pain in all the joints such as fingers, neck etc, nerves, skin itching and sensitivity of the skin which is due to the Fibromyalgia...Yea fun festive season. However this didn't stop me from enjoying this Christmas, although it feels like it went really quickly. I was even brave and ventured into the town (which is unknown to me during the month of December full stop). This did not help the stress as on top of it being busy, the festive spirit in people seemed to be non existant. If you only got as tall as their waists as you where more seen as being in the way and I swear if I had to hear one more person tut behind me or loudly complain that I was in the way and they couldn't get where they wanted to be instantly, I would have went on a rolling rampage ! You would think if they had mouths big enough to complain very loudly to their shopping companions, they could open them to say "excuse me".
However in the New Year am at the chronic pain clinic and the cardiologist so lets see how that goes.

Despite all of this I have tried to stay positive and it helped that we where awarded a grant from Starbucks redcupcheer campaign. I know it sounds sad but I was so excited to find out The Psych Twins had won the money, I was bubbling with excitement.  We managed to speak to Sun FM who agreed to deliver some bags of shopping to a food bank for us on Christmas Eve. So the poor long suffering husband had to do the shop at Asda  and get the bags down to the radio station. We have also been able to help Age UK in Sunderland by putting hampers together for the New Year for them and Centre Point in Sunderland who support 16-21 year olds who are homeless, who we are going to buy things for again in the New Year.

So as life ebbs and flows around us so my life has it's usual ups and downs, and this festive period as been a variety bag of plus and minuses. The downside being the pain and depression but the up side being the good deeds we are going to be able to do for people and the help we can give through The Psych Twins. Michael and Georgia have been up for the week which was another huge plus and there are lots of things on the horizon for both The Amputee Diaries and The Psych Twins in 2016 but also more medical issues.

Stay strong and be true to yourselves and I wish all my readers a happy and safe New Year and look forward to blogging for you all in 2016 what ever it may bring my way I will make sure you are the first to know.

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS OR SO THEY SAY

Things have been a little hectic since going back to university.

Every thing going well, lots of reading of psychology books as you would expect, assignments already starting to come out of the woodwork and this year we have a new support worker, Gail. There was no issues getting the taxis sorted back out and things seem to be running smoothly at uni for a change although debating the psychology of religion is interesting. However I cant say that in other areas of my life.

My farther, since being diagnosed with mixed dementia just before I returned to uni, has received no help what so ever. In fact the social worker that was assigned to him decided that because she saw dishes in the sink and assumed (wrongly) that meant he had eaten that day (in fact those dishes had been there for a number of days, that she saw no rubbish (because my sister had cleaned the house just days before, which we told her) and she could not smell any bodily smells ( will leave that one to your imagination), then he was capable of making his own decisions. This even though the CPN who was there knew the consultant from the Dementia clinic had declared that just looking at him any one could tell he was "not all there ". Lovely man (insert sarcasm here). Don't even get me started on the way he treat and talked to my dad.



So we are slowly watching his money going missing, his house going to wrack and ruin and him not changing his clothes or eating because we can not get help for him. This all due to this social workers recommendations on him being capable.

So that on top of uni work. Then you need to add on my health getting worse.

 With the onset of the colder weather now in the UK ,my joints and mobility are getting worse and so are my stumps. Already on paracetamol, Nepfom and Tramadol. So after ringing the doctors I was put on Oramorph 5 - 10ml every four hours. Not a good thing for uni. Have been taking 2.5 ml in the hope that I could get away with that. Nope. Needed to up it to 5 ml a couple of days ago. This made university very interesting yesterday. We where doing a spot on visual attention, so here's me high on medication trying to count how many Blues are in the song Blue by Eiffel 64 at the same time trying to find Wally.......I think I was an outlier....it was a very trippy effect to say the least but the lecture found it amusing to say the least. Today I have woke up with a swollen  right stump and purple spots all over the bottom of my stump. Putting the liner on is like a million shards of glass in my skin and that's before putting weight through the leg. My initial thought is a reaction to the Morphine due to upping the dose. So off I come. The pain is unbearable, but am grinning through it like I always do, hoping that tomorrow its manageable and I can get into uni. I have an assessment on the 4th of November for an electric wheelchair, which if I get it will make my life so much easier giving me so much more independence.

So now we have uni work, dad with dementia and pain increase. Then you need to add the event in the mix.

Last Saturday we held a promotion at The Bridges in Sunderland . This was to promote the Halloween Monster Masquerade Ball on the 31st at the Stadium of Light, but also to promote what The Psych Twins do.
The response was fantastic and in just little over a week we have had 700 new visitors to the site. We are thrilled. The final preparations are in place now, balloons for the tables booked, decorations for the room ordered and costumes bought. I am going as Cruela De Vile. I have even bought a Dalmatian cuddly toy to hold and stroke so am going to look like Blowfelt from James Bond....just with no legs, well plastic legs..you know what I mean.

For information on our event go to https://www.facebook.com/events/417935758373799/

Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/psychtwinsfundraising

Twitter https://twitter.com/psychtwins

Website http://thepsychtwins.bravesites.com/

If you would like to donate to The Psych Twins http://www.jumblebee.co.uk/post/trvDZTEUem

Sunday, 13 September 2015

NEW START - NEW ACADEMIC YEAR

Back to University next week.  Getting broke in gently as there is only the welcome back meeting on Tuesday for an hour, but there is a catch up with the Thinking Ahead group. This is the group I joined last year that raise funds and awareness for Student Minds, also the reason I shaved my head if you remember. The only thing am not looking forward to is breaking in a new support worker who will help me get around Uni. Hoping she is not set in her ways or used to patronizing disabled people or the next year will be explosive !

Then its back to nose to the grindstone the week after as we get into full swing with our second year on campus. Still plenty of other things to keep me busy as well such as marketing and selling the Halloween Masquerade Ball tickets for the 31st of October https://www.facebook.com/events/417935758373799/
On top of this there is the decorations to order and the itinerary to sort out of who is responsible for what on the night. All of this on top of still having to finish up my CBT diploma I started half way through the holidays and being invited down to Merseyside to be a director with another charity and help them with their fundraising. Add to this that I have also applied for press passes for The Amputee Diaries to various comic cons and events, including in the USA, means that am going to be a very busy girl !

I am hoping to do more reviews for people who have disability's as I strongly believe that being disabled should not stop you from living life to the full. More venues and events are now aware that these things need to cater to every one, but don't always see the world from our perspective. They may think they have covered every aspect of the event for disabled people when in fact they are missing things, sometimes little things, sometimes HUGE bloody things and that is where my reviews come in. Not only to help people but also planners and businesses to address these problems, be more inclusive and in fact increase their revenue stream, audience and fan base. In fact since losing my mobility pretty much, my health getting worse, nearly dying during childbirth with Toyah, my dad being diagnosed with dementia and my mam dying, I have came to realize that life is just too short to worry about what people think and waiting for the right time to do something. Hence cosplaying and all the trips to Disney.

We are still waiting for social services to arrange visiting my dad to assess him for help due to recently being diagnosed with dementia. Since the diagnoses we have pretty much been told that we will have to fight for every scrap of help we get. Typical. It is so frustrating being stuck in this chair sometimes, feeling useless, watching people you care about needing assistance and help and knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to help and feeling that  you are no use at all.

This got me thinking about being a parent and disabled/wheelchair user. The issues it brings I think are unique, something most people will never experience. The first thing you notice is how much you have to adapt certain things to make them work. The next is how much you actually relay on your children for help. Basic things such as house work, doing the washing, cooking sometimes getting clothes on or off depending on if you are having a flare up at the time. My mind though I can keep active which am thankful for. Hence the reason for the charity and uni I guess.

 I am no longer interested in possessing things, but in having experiences. The bigger the better. Life does not have to be over just because you have suffered a tragedy in your life. Nor does it have to be over because of your age, after all its just a number, just like your tragedy, disability it does not define who you are.
People often forget to stop and take in the beauty around them, see the fun in most all situations and live life every day as if it is your last. Take chances, have fun, don't be scared to make a fool of your self ( hell I do that all the time that I don't even need to practice it any more ). But then again it has taken numerous tragedy's in my life and 46 years on this planet for me to do these things. Its not something that comes naturally to us but needs to be learnt, just like every thing else. There is no book on this, you can read as many books around this subject as you like but it will never enable you to do these things or be this way. That, am afraid, is down to you and you alone. In fact I think the more gadgets and tech we invent to make our life easier just clutters it and makes it busier. In fact I think people or trying to use so much tech and gadgets these days to free up time that they have less time then they did before !

Sometimes I think it would be fun to write a book based on my life, the husband thinks I should. But honestly I don't think any one would buy it as it would seem so fantastical and unbelievable. The things I have been through, the things I have done and seen. Hell plot lines of soaps  or more believable then my life some times. This summer alone I have :
Started a charity
organised and event
got donations for prizes
received press passes for a film and comic con
interviewed Chris Judge aka Tel'q from Stargate
interviewed Gareth Lloyd Davis aka Yanto from Torchwood
interviewed Doug"Hacksaw" Duggan from the WWF
Spoke to Michael Bien from Terminator
Spoke to Robert Enguland from Nightmare on Elm Street
Traveled to Glasgow
Done a diploma in CBT
bought a new car
been in a local newspaper
soon to be speaking at the local college to new Psychology students starting the extended degree course
went to a VIP event
had business cards done
had a shopping trip away
applied to be a zombie
got involved as a possible director for another charity
reunited with my dad and sister........and that's in 4 months imagine what I have done over the last 46 years! Some highlights are - insulted Eric Clapton (in my defense it was an accident), lived in a hotel suite for a month, been put before Westlife, drank with Bobby Robson, did a screen test for Matthew Vaughn for the film Kingsman.........

See life is not over, its only over if you let it be.

People look at me and see an overweight, middle aged women who is in a wheelchair with no legs. If they only knew......:)

(If anything in this blog or the other blogs have effected you and you would like to talk to some one please feel free to get in touch.)

Sunday, 23 August 2015

LIGHTS.,CAMERA, ACTION - OR IN OTHER WORDS FILM AND COMIC CON GLASGOW 2015

So it was amazing news two weeks ago when we found out that we had been allocated press passes to film and comic con Glasgow. This was a great opportunity for me to find out exactly what differences there where between Newcastle and another venue Showmasters used, if they had made changes to how the event dealt with disabled attendees and family’s and a great chance to speak to the guests who were attending to find out their thoughts on the event, cosplaying etc and a great chance to review the good and bad and downright ugly of being disabled and travelling and attending a convention.
So we packed a bag and off we went ready to take on everything and anything that would be thrown at us in the aid of the amputee diaries and The Psych Twins.

We travelled by car up to Glasgow on the Friday tea time. Over all it was a 4 hour journey including a slight misdirection through Glasgow and stopping off for a break. This was where the first problem was encountered. We stopped at the Welcome Break services at Gretna Green. There was plenty of disabled parking spaces right at the front near to the entrance to the services. Access was good with automatic doors and all shops where accessible. However the only disabled and baby changing toilet in the services was out of order, with no idea of how long it would be out of order for.
 Now although difficult for me to walk any distance, it was a necessary evil unless I wanted an accident to happen. For people who cannot get out of their wheelchairs or a family with a special needs child or even a baby to change, this was not acceptable. There was no other alternative to this situation unless you wanted to risk however long till he next service station. Travelling back on the Saturday night we stopped at the same services and guess what? That’s right the disabled toilets where still out of order. Obviously the engineer they had called was on a go slow or didn’t do weekends!

We arrived at the Travelodge at Breahead Glasgow around 9pm. Situation was excellent as the shopping centre where the event was being held was within a 7 – 10 minute walking distance. The hotel had plenty of parking spaces and right next to the entrance. Doors where automatic so no struggling trying to open doors and the staff where very pleasant and helpful. The whole area of reception, bar and café was accessible and clean although basic, but you get what you pay for. I had requested a disabled room and included breakfast. The room allocation was excellent down stairs not that far from reception. Only issue was if you were travelling on your own then the doors are heavy to get through to the corridor where your room is situated and your room key card has to be used to open them. This would be something you would not be able to do on your own unless you are a lot more flexible and resourceful then me, which is a possibility, otherwise you will need to ask a member of staff to help.
Entrance into the room was wide enough for my wheelchair which is wider then a normal chair.  The room was very spacious with room for me to manoeuvre in the wheelchair. Everything in the room was accessible from the wheelchair apart from the shelf above the clothes rail. The bed was two singles pushed together but very comfortable with a call button on the head board.
Again the room was sparse but as I said earlier you get what you pay for. The bathroom was huge and very spacious, lots of grab rails, lowered sink and mirror etc. but was very disappointed in the disabled shower, never mind how dangerous it was!
The controls where accessible but no shelf to put any toiletries on such as shampoo and shower gel so reaching for them would be dangerous ( actually impossible for me to do). The fold down seat was way too small and it was not possible to sit on fully, so was more of a perching stool. Well this caused an enormous amount of problems for me! Having to remove both of my legs to enable me to shower, this left me feeling as if I was falling forward. You needed your legs to brace yourself when sitting down. So for someone with no legs, weak lower limbs or unable to use them at all would have major issues using this shower without having an accident! In fact it was so bad that I had to ask my husband to come in and help me get shampoo and shower gel and to make sure I didn’t fall. In order to do this I had to brace myself with my hands on the grab rails. Now for someone with fibromyalgia this was extremely painful as all my weight was put behind this as it couldn’t be put through my legs. I had to risk taking one hand off a grab rail in order to get shampoo or shower gel put into my hand by my husband so I could wash. Even then it had to be quick and couldn’t be done properly as I kept falling forward. Basically if my husband had not been there, there was no way safely I could have had a shower on my own. When oh when are companies going to realise that there are more than just infirm or elderly people and not every disability or wheelchair users needs are the same? Travelodge take a leaf out of Disney’s book please, before someone has an accident.

We decided after the long drive to just eat at the Travelodge for tea. Poor choice. Got the steak sandwich with chips. What I got was tinned steak in buns with frozen chips. With two diet Pepsi’s that where smaller then cans, it came to £22. The breakfast was an all you can eat buffet thing but choice was minimal. There was plenty of facilities nearby so if you didn’t want to eat dinner or evening meal at the hotel then soar, across the road and parking lot, has lots of other options.
The arena is actually part of the shopping centre. If you have ever been to the Metro Centre in Gateshead then if you can imagine where the food court is and Metro Land used to be then that was where the arena was.
Car parking facilities where fantastic at this shopping centre. We had never seen so many disabled parking spaces so close to the centre before at a shopping outlet.
The que was already huge when we arrived at 9.30 am and with it being held in a shopping centre there was a few issues for any one shopping in that area and trying to get past.  We hunted down a staff member, who seemed to be few and far apart and it was very unclear as to where you were supposed to que for early entry and std and there was no indication at all if you had a press pass. We were told to show our email to the staff on the door. We were then given our press passes and we were off. 
Inside there was no foyer area so nowhere to wait for people or hang around for a break. The one saving grace was with it being in a shopping centre you could come and go as you pleased as long as you got your hand stamped. This meant that if you wanted a break from the madness and the crowds you could go out and sit in the food court, grab a coffee or something to eat or if you where going to be waiting for a talk or photo shoot to happen, the option was there to look around the shops etc. This however led to its own issues. Later on in the day you were stepping (or in my case trying not to roll over) people who were sitting on the floor everywhere. This was obviously also causing issues for shoppers in the centre who were not attending the convention.

Once in you were faced with loads of stalls and traders of all kinds. Yet again showmasters had crammed in so many stalls that manoeuvring around the stalls and up and down the aisles was bad for any one, but was a logistical nightmare for someone in a wheelchair or with a pram. It made it very slow going and sometimes very frustrating to get around with some stalls being total inaccessible to any one in a wheelchair. They had spread the guests out over two floors. Plenty of room for accessing the downstairs guests but could see that as the day got busier the lines could be confusing. Access to the upper floor was via stairs, with no signs to indicate where the lift was to enable me to access that level. After spending a moment trying to ascertain where these where we give up and looked for a member of staff. That was easier said than done. Volunteers seemed to be in blue t shirts and pit bosses in red. Very few around. Eventually chased after one and asked a pit boss how to access the top floor. She seemed a little confused then pointed us towards the service doors and told us she didn’t know but had been told to point people in that direction this looked like no access to a lift but we trusted she knew better and tried to get through the heavy doors. As we did a security guard belonging to the venue came over to get the door for us. As he was doing this he asked where we were going so told him that we were looking for a lift to access up stairs. At that point he told us that we had to go back out of the arena, across the food court and the lifts where there. After getting out we had to cross the food court upstairs and round the corner to where the box office was for the arena. The doors where sealed so had to wait to be let in by a security guard. Once up there we did notice that there was a service lift and wondered if this was where she had been directing us too. Up here there was the other guests but instead of spacing the signing desks out they were all cramped up.
This made queuing difficult and again the lines confusing to follow for each guest and this was before they let in pay on the door and std ticket entry’s. When it got busy it was nigh on impossible to get through to any of the lines and trying to que without getting in peoples ways was not possible.  Staff up stairs, both volunteers and pits bosses where sparse to find and there was no Virtual queuing system so the ques where getting out of hand very quickly. At Newcastle the pit bosses and volunteers where very helpful with me being a wheelchair user and there was plenty of staff around. At Glasgow however as well as very little staff there were no concessions made for people in wheelchairs or disability’s including people on crutches. Their website itself and staff have stated that anyone who is disabled would be moved to the front of the autograph ques to make access easier for everyone but this did not happen.
Before they let the standard ticket holders in and pay on the door through it was already jammed packed and difficult to manoeuvre. On my way to interview Chris Judge, just before noon they had moved the people queuing to around the food court instead of down the centre where the shops where.
Yet again I think Showmasters underestimated the amount of people who would be attending the event equal to the size of the venue.
There was some issues as to where wheelchair users accessed the talk areas. The husband had to park me up out of the way of people and exits, (not easy) while he tried to find someone to assist, (did I mention the lack of staff?). This resulted in me being parked down in between two stalls. As I was waiting for him to return David Prowse (Darth Vader out of Star wars, for those not aware of this character or the films (shame on you)), came up beside me. Due to his failing health he was also in a wheelchair being pushed by a volunteer from Showmasters. As the volunteer was trying to sort out a rubber ramp type thing he noticed the Darth Vader sticker on my prosthetic which made him chuckle. I happened to mention how ridiculous it was trying to get around in a wheelchair to which he agreed.
We eventually found someone who directed us to a small door where we could see the talks. Although it was technically a space at the side of the stage next to a speaker and the area where the guests actually entered from, it wasn’t too bad. Then again it depended on where you were positioned as you were not looking straight on at the stage but having to turn to the side and past the person sat next to you. It also meant that come the Q & A time you were pretty much over looked if you wanted to ask a question of the guest. The space realistically could only fit three wheelchairs and their companions in, any more was not going to happen.
By 2pm the que showed no signs of dying down and even by the time we left at 3.30 pm people where still queuing to get in, even though there was barely any room to move as it was at this point. They had stopped people from entering and to be honest I am not sure how they worked out when enough people had left to let any more in due to most people being able to come and go with a hand stamp into the shopping centre. Yet again I think showmasters under estimated how many people would be interested in attending and in future should consider providing more things such as enough staff, directions being visible and accessibility of the venue chosen all need to be taken into account. Bear in mind Showmasters if you have disabled guests and attendees attending and you chose to book somewhere that looks accessible, my advice is, still check for your selves. Might be an idea to take on someone who can deal with these issues specifically. Spread the stalls out as well please this would help everyone in the long run. We know more stalls equals more money from traders per table but think about the people attending and how much more money the traders would make if everyone could access their goods and services Just a thought.

I think that these events are going to become more and more popular in the UK simply due to the fact that the fans and collectors are becoming more and more aware that they exist in this country and are no longer the privilege of the States. The celebrities are also more aware that the demand in the UK to see them is huge so more and more are going to be willing to attend these events here. People are also becoming more involved in the whole thing as they look for more places where they can go as a family and where better than some where the kids can get involved in dressing up, meet Darth Vader standing alongside Captain Jack, where princess walk the isles and all their comic and film
book hero’s and heroines come to life and not only that they can have their photo taken with them as well! All this while seeing their favourite actor out of a tv show or film and Mam and dad and grandparents can all get involved in the fun, whilst re living their youth meeting actors and actresses from their favourite 80’s and 90’s shows and films whilst at the same time picking up that must have print or collectable for the sitting room.
So come on Showmasters unless you want to be elitist and only appeal to the hardened film and comic fan or collector, cater more for the disabled, the kids and the families who really want to attend just as much as the diehard collectors and fans. The people I spoke to who said it was their first time where definitely thinking of becoming return revenue for you. Isn’t that what you want?

Chris Judge who played Teal’c in Stargate Atlantis, very kindly agreed to give us an interview. He got into college on the back of a football scholarship but was not that serious about playing as much as others where and was always geared towards acting. Originally doing pre-med at college he minored in Psychology and as a fellow Psychology Student I had to ask him about Statistics. It seems that all Psychology students around the world dislike it which is good to know I am not alone. Jim “Hacksaw” Duggan was another star I was lucky enough to talk to. Both he and Chris Judge thought that fans at conventions in the UK were fantastic, a lot more friendly and easy to talk too compared to the USA. Across there it is perceived as more of a business then an experience for fans and fans in the UK made it seem more human and hands on. In fact every one of the celebrities thought that conventions where more like one big family and they definitely seem to love that fact.
With regards to disability’s all the people I talked to saw it as no reason not to attend one of these events if you have a chance and I agree with them. There was definitely more people attending with prams and small children, who’s eyes just positively lit up when faced with all the cosplayers. A lot of the stalls here seemed to be catering their merchandise towards children although there was still plenty for the avid collector to buy, trust me!

Speaking to some of the attendees the biggest issue was once again the lack of room to get around with a pram or wheelchair, lack of staff support and lack of signs for lifts etc. Some guests were unaware that it was spread out on two floors or in fact how to even access the second floor. In fact am still trying to work out where the disabled toilets where and I have been home since 9 pm last night!  Although once found all staff where friendly. The general consensus as well was that there was no reason not to give people with disabilities extra help when getting autographs and photos done and the majority of people I spoke to have no problem with this. I am hoping to be allocated a press pass for London in the winter just to see how they deal with one of their biggest conventions in the UK, which due to size is now being held at Brighton and I will be attending (in full cosplay) the Newcastle Comic Con in November not just for pleasure but to see if they have taken anything on board from other cons and changed anything from March.
 On the subject of Cosplaying both the guests and attendees all loved to see all the cosplayers in their costumes. Robert Englund especially liked to see the fans dressed as Freddy and approved of the cross gender cosplaying. They thought it added to the overall
atmosphere of the convention and the fun of it. All the guests found it flattering when faced with a fan dressed as one of their characters, but shocked to find out about the bullying that takes place in the cosplay community.  They were also surprised about the image the UK press had given it recently. Chris Judge thought that the Sci Fi community and the convention community in general where more evolved and accepting of peoples differences, which is why I think it came as such a shock to him in particular.  Speaking to some of the cosplayers themselves, nearly all of them had experienced some form of bullying or inappropriate touching from other attendees at the conventions and even some outside of conventions such as taking part in photo shoots.
Out of the Cosplayers I spoke to all agreed that cosplaying and being part of that community helped them overcome issues such as depression, anxiety and social shyness as well as boosting their confidence and making new friends from all over the country. Convention etiquette is simple. If you would like to have a photo taken with someone in cosplay, ask, do not assume and don’t touch their costumes. Some of them take a long time, hard work and lots of money to make, having someone come along and paw at the costume or them is not acceptable. If you like a costume, tell them if you don’t, keep it to yourself. Out of all the cosplayers not one of them said no to an interview or photo when asked politely.
Oh and if you really want to know as badly as I did if people preferred Marvel to DC… Marvel was the winner. Although some arguments continued after I had left on the subject matter.


 Most of the people I talked to had not heard about iCosplay, although out of those that had it was mainly cosplayers. I mentioned that it was a charity that existed to stamp out bullying in the cosplay community, which was given a positive response, but the general overall consensus from the stars and attendees was, disabled or not, attend a convention, see what it’s like for yourself you might just like it. If you’re worried or nervous about cosplaying at a convention, take a chance, pick your favourite character and just express yourself, if it helps to bring you out of yourself, or makes it easier to interact and talk to people then even better. They very much seemed to see it as a form of escapism as well as fun. If you do experience any kind of bullying for any reason then tell someone don’t keep it to yourself and most of all at the end of the day enjoy it. Personally I really enjoyed
cosplaying. My first time was at Newcastle comic Con in March this year. I was worried about what people would say and think, especially with me being in a wheelchair, in my forty’s and overweight. I was so glad I did it though. The amount of people cosplayers and non-cosplayers and even guests who came and talked to me, liked my costume or wanted a photo taken with me was unbelievable and it was so much fun, I was hooked from that point on!  As Gareth David Lloyd, who played Yanto in Torchwood said, if you don’t like it then you don’t have to do it again. So whether you cosplay are not in the immortal words of Shia la beouf – Just Do It!
Hired The Stig as the getaway driver after starting arguments over Marvel or DC !

Thursday, 13 August 2015

DARK DAYS AND THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL KEEPS MOVING AWAY..BUT HOPEFULLY NOT FOR MUCH LONGER

So we are now half way through the summer holidays and my insucruities are starting to kick in every so often.

I am having days of feeling very down, criticizing myself for not being able to do things or lose weight. Disgust crosses my mind on those days when faced with my reflection and the day seems to be darker all of a sudden. There is the whole "need to be out get me out" cabin fever days but more the " I dont want to leave the bedroom never mind the house " kind of days. I can't be the only one who thinks that maybe having their amputation might have been the worst thing they did as it has took their life away. Watching the kids going out and socializing during the summer,friends being out and about and even the hubby being out most days doing his own thing at the gym and being pestered to go out socially, it hammers home more then ever just how isolated I am due to the wheelchair and the amputation.
Friends have drifted away, even the ones I thought would be around for life. With the end of University seems to have come the end of my social/outside life. I find my self comparing myself to every one and find myself lacking in all departments. Just as I seem to feel better and because these days are far and few between there does seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. Although some days I wonder if the goal posts are being moved on me or just the light at the end of tunnel is the one moving. However I remember the self help techniques from my CBT which help when these days attack. Things like slow breathing, mind over matter and my mantra when meditating of convincing my self that I can do this, I am worth it. These are things that I will keep battling with and will battle with as am not one for quitting on anything

As if having 4 kids ranging from 6-11, a 16 year old on and off stroppy teenager and a 21 year old isn't enough to keep me on my toes (excuse the pun), then I in my infinite wisdom decided to take on more things.
The Psych Twins are moving all steam ahead which is great and we have had the promotion with the young carers and the cosplayers for the event in October, but still no word on when it will be in the papers.
The Psych Twins where also invited to a networking event at The Stadium of Light in Sunderland for the start of the new season. This was a great opportunity to put our name out there and make connections for future charity events and fundraising as well as what we do. We have also completed the paper work for registering as a charity so hoping to get that  submitted with in the next couple of weeks. We now have business cards which is all very exciting..well to me it is.
And as if this is not enough I have also started a CBT Diploma online which am hoping to complete before returning to University in the middle of September. Once completed and as long as I pass then I will be able to practice in CBT which will be good as well. And there was a great surprise waiting in my in box yesterday as well, The Amputee Diaries have been given a press pass for Film and Comic Con Glasgow next weekend. This means that I will be able to go and do a full review of the venue, see what Showmasters put in place for disabled people and families as well as interviewing staff and stars on their opinions and thoughts on disability and events like these.

Then I find out on top of all of this that my dad has been diagnosed with dementia. With my health being the way it is I am unable to help in his care which means everything is left to my older sister to take care of. However we are not sure that it is dementia as his bloods have come back inconclusive and an x ray has shown a large mass on his lungs/ chest. Not expecting good news from that one.

As they say it never rains but it pours. The light at the end of this dark tunnel will be hopefully coming in to focus and stop moving away from me. Passing Uni was a relief and a blessing and am really looking forward to getting back. It will be good not just for the interaction and leaving the house but also to be just Jen and not mam. Lets hope things are slowly going to improve. Watch this space.

If any thing in this blog effects you then please get in touch if you wish to talk or we can help in any way.

The Psych Twins Websitethepsychtwins.bravesites.com

Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/psychtwinsfundraising

Event page   https://www.facebook.com/events/417935758373799/

Tickets http://www.jumblebee.co.uk/ticket/trvDZTEUem/detail/id/508

Friday, 24 July 2015

JUDGE NOT LEAST YOU BE JUDGED OR AS YOUR MAM SAID IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

So it begins. The long war of the six week holidays. We are only at the end of the first week and already am feeling slightly frazzled.
Good job I had the two night break down the metro centre with the just the hubby. Recharge my batteries with retail therapy and us time.It was lovely! The Marriott was lovely. They give us an accessible room although  am not 100% convinced it was. The door to the room was difficult to get through unless you where angled straight on, but the room was very spacious and a huge king size bed. The bathroom was big and the toilet had grab rails and an emergency cord but the bath was not accessible and no bath board or seat was supplied.
The room was next to the lift which I had also requested and access into the building was great although, disabled car parking spaces were limited.

 The Metro Centre as you would expect, very disabled friendly, but some of the shops left a lot to be desired regarding access and help. Shops such as HMV was laid out great for someone in a wheelchair or with a pram. Other shops where more then happy to help if space was limited for example by moving racks out of the way or getting what you needed. However there where shops such as Topshop who where no help what so ever. Getting into the shop to look at clothes was ok but once in maneuvering around the racks of clothes was a complete nightmare! Forget trying to have a look at the sales rack and trying to get to the check out to pay, well not unless you can bend time and space. There was a complete lack of help and those staff who where around did not offer any help what so ever. In fact their nails and cuticles looked of great interest to them whilst I was in the shop. Upon asking the assistant behind the cash desk why the access was so restrictive for some one in a wheelchair or with a pram I was told that it was down to head office and how much stock had to go out on display. The only thought I had leaving the shop was maybe if you have a pram or are in a wheelchair then you are not allowed to be fashionable!

But that brings me to people in general. I don't think I will ever understand the human race no mater how long I study Psychology. People can be so generous, kind and helpful and this sometimes takes my  breath away, but then you have people who can be so narrow minded, down right nasty and selfish. What happened to this society? They used to be a time when people would help each other out especially in their own community. Today people seem so hell bent on their own selfish lives. Every one is entitled to there own opinions but today people seem to think that their opinion is the only one that matters and woe betide any one who differs. They are shouted down, belittled and ridiculed. There was an article on people who Cosplay and attended London Film and Comic Con. Now as stated before people are entitled to their own opinion about this. Some people might think its silly or sad but then again these people  might watch Big Brother which I personally find moronic and sad, but I would not ridicule, poke fun or belittle  these people for that. However this "journalist" (and I use the term lightly) thought that it was fair enough to have open season on the Cosplayers. Not at their costumes or their inaccuracies if any but at the actual people. Ridiculing their tattoos, size and the fact they liked to Cosplay . In fact calling them " oompa lumpas". Some Cosplayers from iCoslay who support a campaign for anti bullying penned a reply. Today this journalist published his response and yet again could not keep civil about it. Telling them that they are sad and if they insist on playing dressy up then people where free to make fun of them and pick on them and that was not bullying.
So if that is not bullying what is? Isn't bullying about ridiculing, belittling or picking on people for being different? Race, skin colour, size, hair colour, physical ability, any one poking fun for these reasons at a minority group would surly be classed as bullying, so why did this journalist think that what he was doing acceptable and NOT bullying. Because I look different in my wheelchair, with prosthetic legs and belong to a minority group does that give people the right to ridicule me? In this day and age every one is preaching about understanding, inclusion, standing up to stigma but how can we do this when our own so called press find it acceptable to put people down for this? Whether it is physical disability, mental health or Cosplaying the stigma needs to be removed across the board.YES I am a wheelchair user, YES I have suffered from depression and sometimes still do, YES I have no legs and YES I enjoy Cosplaying when going to film and comic conventions.
I am not ashamed of any of these things, why should I? Take me or leave me but this is ME, this is who and what I am. I will not be made to feel ashamed for any of it just because I do not fit into someones idea of normal. What is normal any way? Is any one normal? This journalist is an avid football supporter does this give me a right to tear into him in a public forum or a national newspaper and ridicule his size when he wears his football colours, how he does his hair, his age or the fact he should grow up and get a life (one of his other response lines in the article), instead of cheering on men kicking a ball around a field, swearing at the ref or chanting silly songs to the opposing side?It should not surprise you to find out that this same journalist ridiculed the disabled  and has had numerous complaints against him. He kind of reminds me as a male version of Katie Hopkins to be honest.

The event I am co hosting in October is just about getting together, having fun and at the same time raising money for a worth while cause. I have managed to get the help of some fantastic Cosplayers to help promote the event and take part in the evening entertainment, all free of charge, all given up their time. Their costumes are fantastic, the time, money, sweat, blood (literally if they where sewing by hand ) and tears that went into creating these masterpieces , all paid for out of their own pockets. They are coming with me to visit the Young carers as well to give the kids a treat and a chance to have their photos taken. This is more help then the press, celebrities and even companies have offered. (I have to mention here though that Sun FM , my local radio station, have been very supportive). Who would have thought that any business, after all that is what the newspaper is, would want to be associated with a small minded, bigoted person who represents and is the face of their company?

The one thing I have learnt from doing this event is every one and I mean EVERYONE wants their cut. The venue, the celebrities, the agents, fundraising sites even some of the companies who "offer" donations for prizes. Then you have company's like The Prop Store who send you a collectible worth £200 with out a blink of an eye. The celebs are the worst, I now have an appreciation for Showmasters and Rouge Events as to why they charge so much for tickets and autographs. Some demands including  'lunch money' and  cars to all airports as well as first class flights and two hotel rooms,  just adds to an already extortionist fee for attending these things and it being for charity does not count for squat. In fact they will stand there and shout your cause to the rooftops without knowing or caring anything about it as long as the price is right. I understand that they have to make a living but some of these Celebrities are making more then enough with out charging through the nose for the fans to met them.

 I feel privileged if they even bother to reply to my emails !



You can find the event details on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/events/417935758373799/

Website http://thepsychtwins.bravesites.com/

The Psych twins Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/psychtwinsfundraising?fref=ts