sill waiting for the official letter from the hospital with the date of my surgery on, but his secretary confirmed over the phone. Heard from social services but they cant do anything until after I have had my amputation, so cant arrange what I need wheelchair wise or bathing needs wise until am in hospital, which if you ask me is useless. Work not getting any easier. Walking up the hill to work is causing a lot of pain and cant afford to take time off work as if I am not in I don't get paid. We must be the only firm in Newcastle who doesn't have a sick scheme in place! The carers centre has been great, they have had a lot of useful information that both David and I where unaware of. Now wondering how much my arthritis issue is going to effect my amputation if at all. So off to see the doctor on Tuesday morning to get the low down on it all.
Managed to do some research on arthritis and on depression over the weekend, even though it has been complete and utter madness with the eldest 17th and the 2nd oldest girl turning 5. Turned out that the 5 year olds birthday party caused more stress and clean up then the 17/18 year old had the night before !
Went to get weighed on Friday and another blow to the self confidence..put on weight and back at what I started at 17st 11. sometimes I wonder "why do I bother " and "there has to be more to life then this ?"
Seems I suck at everything..well if nothing else am consistent, thats something. Lots of friends seem to think that I should either leave work or go on the sick now. Thats easier said then done, as I mentioned before, the firm I work for must be the only one in the North East that doesn't have a sick scheme in place. Which logically is good to stop people form taking the piss, people like myself cant afford to be off work if we dont get paid though. So for now I will just have to battle on like thousands of other people in the same situation.
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