Guess who's Back?

The pain in my stumps that I suffered with before is back.

What can I say?

Other then am disappointed and upset by this, but it was one of the risks we where aware of.  We knew that it might not help the pain I was experiencing, the burning feeling or white hot needle of shooting pains, nor the feeling of the skin being too tight feeling like there is a tight elastic band around it and don't forget the jumping leg muscles as they cramp.
The only consultation (if that is what you can call it), is there is no constant needles and pins feeling.  However it does mean that sleeping has become a problem again.  Can't bear the legs to be under the duvet nor on top of each other for two long as it is unbearable.  So it means constantly turning over and have you ever tried to turnover with no legs? no? well it is not easy! It means that my sleep is disturbed every night.
They said that the pain I was experiencing previously may be ingrained in my mind, psychological pain if you want, due to the fact that I lived with it for 4 year after the last amputation.
So instead of leaving it at that or going on to anti depressants permanently which is not an option as far as I am concerned, I am going to do my own research into cognitive therapy and alternative therapies to see what I can find out.

I am depressed.

But this shouldn't be a surprise to any one. House bound for weeks, no movement on any front, not being able to have a shower now this.

Oh and to top everything off my next casting for the socket is not going to be until the 1st September which means no legs ready to use until at least November/December time.

Trying to get back to work for the first Monday in September.  The building is disabled accessible and so is the bathroom, but it means still being stuck in the wheelchair with stump boards for at least 3/4 month, waiting to hear from my boss regarding start date though.

Really hit a low point at the moment.  Even the house is getting me down.  I know people in wheelchairs go to work everyday and deal with day to day things in the house like cooking,cleaning, bathing etc but ever tried doing these things in a non adapted house? with out the needed equipment? its not easy! I would kill for a shower!!!  Occupational Therapy (OT) cant do any more to help other then suggest we move, they can't even adapt the downstairs shower as it is too small.  The council don't have any where big enough and social housing only have 1 private land lord in a run down inner city area with no outside space for the kids (or dog).

I just want my independence back, I want to be able to go out, do social things like the pictures and shopping, go to work, do my own housework, have a bloody shower!

I just want some good luck for a change and things to start going right for us.....