January is the same every year. No money , nothing to look forward to, dark nights, grey days etc etc. But people every where tend to make the same resolutions, new year new me, starting the gym, stopping smoking, going on a diet and my personal favorite, this year will be better.... well am still waiting. I have decided to put January as a trail and the New Year for me doesn't start until February,
( knowing my luck though this will persist until June or something and I sill be putting the previous 5 month as "just a trail").
As soon as the clock chimed midnight on the 31st it all went to pot.
Dad kicked off.
Stress levels through the roof
Arguments
Health issues escalated
And I ended up missing a deadline for the first time ever !
Dad was refusing his carers which resulted in more arguments between him and my sister, leading to my sister being more stressed out. On top of this he was forgetting to pay his bills becoming more and more in arrears with his electric and gas. He was refusing any form of personal care or hot food and decided to rip the telecare monitor out.
Thankfully I have managed to get his social worker to do a review of the services and he has agreed to paying his bills by direct debit which am arranging for him, the telecare has been reconnected ( although he is still refusing to wear the call button, but small steps.) and he has agreed to keep the carers for the morning and night who will help him with the porridge for breakfast and a sandwich for his supper. Still not winning on the personal care front but I am grateful for the small things at the moment. The one thing through out this that has really annoyed the hell out of me is the way that so called "care professionals" talk to the elderly, vulnerable and disabled. I noticed when she was talking it wasn't too my dad but at my dad, which I thought was horrendous and extremely disrespectful. He may have dementia but he is still a person. Whilst she was talking about him to his partner or to me it was if he wasn't in the room. His whole body language was sad, defeatist as if to say " I may as well not be here, no one listens to me". That got me thinking about how people talk to me. When am in the wheelchair, which fair enough is most of the time now, I get talked at or instead of asking me a question they ask who ever is pushing me, as if am invisible There is also a difference from when am in the wheelchair and out of it. I don't get talked at but I do get talked down to, as if because my legs are missing somehow this included my intelligence and being to understand anything. Talking to my sister the other night on the phone and she mentioned something similar. If her partner mentions that she has had a brain tumor or surgery people treat/talk to her differently .
Why?
Is this just lack of training on behalf of the professionals, or do they just become so worn down by seeing the same thing day in and day out that it is robotic and automatic? Is it just human nature to look down on the infirm and the disabled, see them some how as inferior, less then human. Is it a simple case that evolution dictates that we over look these people or try less as there is no gain, the genetics are faulty therefore we are over looked? ( see, told you I was studying psychology).
The cardiologist went well I thought. Heart trace was normal and no sign of a murmur and he is pretty certain that it is nothing linked to my talipes, ( people born with talipes can sometimes also have muscle issues in their legs, hip issues and/ or heart defects/issues). However it could be something called egtopic heartbeats or A.F ( arterial fibrillation?). So to rule anything out I have to have three tests carried out. One is a heart monitor for 72 hours, a echo gram of the heart and a ultrasound. So its going to be a few month of waiting before we get any final results. This of course means more stress and worry.( I do sometimes wonder if this might be payback for me labeling the heart the opposite way round during my physiology exam two year ago?).
Got the pain clinic appointment coming up in a few month, but to be honest do not see the point in going. Pain clinics tend to look at alternative ways of dealing with the pain to be used in conjunction or instead of pain killers. Tried them all before, didn't work then will not work now. So its back to the docs to look at upping the meds. Can't wait to see what that leads to !
Then to top things off, just as I thought nothing else could be thrown at me this year never mind this month I received a very unexpected letter. I have to go to the Northern Centre for Cancer to have genetic screening done. well, blow me down, ( trust me I said worse then that but am trying to keep this a 12 PA). So this will mean months of tests and waiting to see what the out come is. All of this just in time to return to university after the Christmas holidays for exams and deadlines. Not sure how this is going to impact on things or if I will even complete the degree .
Watch this space!
( I swear I should write a bloody book ! only problem is it would be put in the fiction section as no one would believe it. Soap operas have more realistic story lines then my life).
( knowing my luck though this will persist until June or something and I sill be putting the previous 5 month as "just a trail").
As soon as the clock chimed midnight on the 31st it all went to pot.
Dad kicked off.
Stress levels through the roof
Arguments
Health issues escalated
And I ended up missing a deadline for the first time ever !
Dad was refusing his carers which resulted in more arguments between him and my sister, leading to my sister being more stressed out. On top of this he was forgetting to pay his bills becoming more and more in arrears with his electric and gas. He was refusing any form of personal care or hot food and decided to rip the telecare monitor out.
Thankfully I have managed to get his social worker to do a review of the services and he has agreed to paying his bills by direct debit which am arranging for him, the telecare has been reconnected ( although he is still refusing to wear the call button, but small steps.) and he has agreed to keep the carers for the morning and night who will help him with the porridge for breakfast and a sandwich for his supper. Still not winning on the personal care front but I am grateful for the small things at the moment. The one thing through out this that has really annoyed the hell out of me is the way that so called "care professionals" talk to the elderly, vulnerable and disabled. I noticed when she was talking it wasn't too my dad but at my dad, which I thought was horrendous and extremely disrespectful. He may have dementia but he is still a person. Whilst she was talking about him to his partner or to me it was if he wasn't in the room. His whole body language was sad, defeatist as if to say " I may as well not be here, no one listens to me". That got me thinking about how people talk to me. When am in the wheelchair, which fair enough is most of the time now, I get talked at or instead of asking me a question they ask who ever is pushing me, as if am invisible There is also a difference from when am in the wheelchair and out of it. I don't get talked at but I do get talked down to, as if because my legs are missing somehow this included my intelligence and being to understand anything. Talking to my sister the other night on the phone and she mentioned something similar. If her partner mentions that she has had a brain tumor or surgery people treat/talk to her differently .
Why?
Is this just lack of training on behalf of the professionals, or do they just become so worn down by seeing the same thing day in and day out that it is robotic and automatic? Is it just human nature to look down on the infirm and the disabled, see them some how as inferior, less then human. Is it a simple case that evolution dictates that we over look these people or try less as there is no gain, the genetics are faulty therefore we are over looked? ( see, told you I was studying psychology).
The cardiologist went well I thought. Heart trace was normal and no sign of a murmur and he is pretty certain that it is nothing linked to my talipes, ( people born with talipes can sometimes also have muscle issues in their legs, hip issues and/ or heart defects/issues). However it could be something called egtopic heartbeats or A.F ( arterial fibrillation?). So to rule anything out I have to have three tests carried out. One is a heart monitor for 72 hours, a echo gram of the heart and a ultrasound. So its going to be a few month of waiting before we get any final results. This of course means more stress and worry.( I do sometimes wonder if this might be payback for me labeling the heart the opposite way round during my physiology exam two year ago?).
Got the pain clinic appointment coming up in a few month, but to be honest do not see the point in going. Pain clinics tend to look at alternative ways of dealing with the pain to be used in conjunction or instead of pain killers. Tried them all before, didn't work then will not work now. So its back to the docs to look at upping the meds. Can't wait to see what that leads to !
Then to top things off, just as I thought nothing else could be thrown at me this year never mind this month I received a very unexpected letter. I have to go to the Northern Centre for Cancer to have genetic screening done. well, blow me down, ( trust me I said worse then that but am trying to keep this a 12 PA). So this will mean months of tests and waiting to see what the out come is. All of this just in time to return to university after the Christmas holidays for exams and deadlines. Not sure how this is going to impact on things or if I will even complete the degree .
Watch this space!
( I swear I should write a bloody book ! only problem is it would be put in the fiction section as no one would believe it. Soap operas have more realistic story lines then my life).
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