Sorry its been a while since I have actualy wrote anything but it has bee such a busy time for me lately.
I have been trying to tie all the lose ends up at where I work so that I could hand my clients files over. My last day was Thursday and I am now on holiday for 2 weeks until the operation on the 23rd.
However the holiday isnt really happening. David took on a business unit for a portrait studio, so I have been helping him to market that place and set everything up so that it will run smoothly for him whilest am in hospital. To say things have been manic is a understatement!! I had more sleep with 6 kids when they where teething then I have had in the last two weeks with this!
However saying that we have had some lucky breaks. David as done some thrash metal bands one local and one from Boston USA at and inside the Newcastle keep. They have been so impressed with his work that they are talking about using some of it for their next album cover. I was just happy I pulled off geting them inside the keep.
I also managed to get him as Outlast TheSun's official gig Photographer as they are performing one night only as Stiletto to support Tigertailz at the O2 Academy this month. So have also asked if it would be possible to photograph Tigertailz as well. They told me that they didnt see why not and to speak to the tour manager on the day !! so really happy about that as well. Still trying to get him in to do a shoot with Adam Ant but no joy...yet .
So because am busy I havnt had time to think about the upcoming operation. But now as it draws nearer I must admit when I do stop to think about it,like now when am writting this, I feel a little tripidation about it. Nerves I guess.
I allready feel wrong not being at work.
I have already started to pack my bag bit by bit. Buyin new Pjs and tolitries,books etc and putting them in my hospital bag ready. Still dont know what the hospital policy is on me taking my laptop in with a dongle so I can use the internet and Skype?
I plan to update this on a other day or daily basis as I get nearer to the date as well as keeping it going all the way through my hospital stay. I guess I want people to read this and take comfort, hope,inspiration and help from it, for people to understand what it is like to live day to day with this and for other people who may be disabled to be able to say "well if she can do it so can I"
I am lucky to have such a fantastic network of physical and on line friends ( you know who you are!), thank you all of you and a fantastic husband and kids which has enabled me to do what I do and has helped me to get over the bumps in the road.
My operation pre assesment is on Tuesday at 4pm, am sitting here thinking that the carefully planed diet and exercise programme didnt 'quite' work ! and am wondering how much weight I can lose in a few days !!!
ooh well at least I am trying , and still trying, to lose weight. It might not be a roaring success but I will fight the good fight. Hey at least I dont eat Pringles any more......just lots of other things instead.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
PREPERATION
So how do you prepare for something like getting your legs chopped off? I have no idea!
Depression hit me really bad over the last few weeks, things basically just getting on top of me and all the little things seemed to be a lot worse then they actually where. None of it stemmed directly from going in for the amputation, but I suppose it influenced them in directly. Its hard to plan ahead for after something like this and I was trying to put things in place for after it had all happened which you really cant do because you can not predict how things are going to go or turn out.
I wanted to have something to look forward too but until I return to work , which obviously I don't know when that will be, I cant book anything for holidays as we don't know how finances are going to work out or even if the dates we book are going to be realistic for my rehab.
So after lots of talking things through with David, who is being very supported, I have managed to put things into perspective. The major issue is money & work. That is the base of the matter.So trying to tackle those two things head on . Kind of got them sorted. Have put holidays into work 2 weeks before I go into hospital so I can have some time with the family. Starting to tie things up at work ready for going in, but this is creating a lot of pressure because as well as tieing things up I still need to do the job am being paid for. I now know that my employer will pay SSP while am on the sick but that isn't a lot to live on, so its a case of tightening the belts until I can work again. Hope fully this will be within a month working from home to start with until I feel confident enough to go into the office in my chair through using access to work. Eventually going in full time under my own steam when am up and about properly but who knows when that will be ?
Also starting getting things in for my hospital bag, putting things away ready to pack. What kind of PJs do you get for an amputation? long legs are not going to work. Nightie? shorts? opted for one nightie and some PJ shorts. Hoping to take the laptop in with me and put some credit on a Dongle as well so I have access to the internet, don't want to pay for the service in the hospital.
Taking lots of books, puzzle books and DVDs in with me as well . Not forgetting the music! Also going to use this as an time to take back up my Spanish and Psychology studies.
So as you can see lots of things to sort out and do before hand as well as making time for the family, work and easter!
Still cracking on with the exercise but the not able to do the pilates as often as i would like. Still struggling with the weight,uurrggh!!
David is taking some more pics of my legs and stumps before I go in so looking forward to that. Hey at least I dont have to worry about having to get a pair of slippers ! I think the after care in the hospital is worrying me more then the operation itself which I know is strange but its from what I experienced before. Best advice i can give to any one who is going through something like this is plan as much before you go in as you can and talk to some one , especially if you feel that things are getting on top of you . Talking and planning these things will also help you to prepare mentally for the operation. Also dont worry getting down is going to happen, it wouldnt be normal if it didnt. Plan ahead for after the operation as well but unlike me try to be realistic about this, things will change as you recover and you cant predict what is going to happen or how quick !
Depression hit me really bad over the last few weeks, things basically just getting on top of me and all the little things seemed to be a lot worse then they actually where. None of it stemmed directly from going in for the amputation, but I suppose it influenced them in directly. Its hard to plan ahead for after something like this and I was trying to put things in place for after it had all happened which you really cant do because you can not predict how things are going to go or turn out.
I wanted to have something to look forward too but until I return to work , which obviously I don't know when that will be, I cant book anything for holidays as we don't know how finances are going to work out or even if the dates we book are going to be realistic for my rehab.
So after lots of talking things through with David, who is being very supported, I have managed to put things into perspective. The major issue is money & work. That is the base of the matter.So trying to tackle those two things head on . Kind of got them sorted. Have put holidays into work 2 weeks before I go into hospital so I can have some time with the family. Starting to tie things up at work ready for going in, but this is creating a lot of pressure because as well as tieing things up I still need to do the job am being paid for. I now know that my employer will pay SSP while am on the sick but that isn't a lot to live on, so its a case of tightening the belts until I can work again. Hope fully this will be within a month working from home to start with until I feel confident enough to go into the office in my chair through using access to work. Eventually going in full time under my own steam when am up and about properly but who knows when that will be ?
Also starting getting things in for my hospital bag, putting things away ready to pack. What kind of PJs do you get for an amputation? long legs are not going to work. Nightie? shorts? opted for one nightie and some PJ shorts. Hoping to take the laptop in with me and put some credit on a Dongle as well so I have access to the internet, don't want to pay for the service in the hospital.
Taking lots of books, puzzle books and DVDs in with me as well . Not forgetting the music! Also going to use this as an time to take back up my Spanish and Psychology studies.
So as you can see lots of things to sort out and do before hand as well as making time for the family, work and easter!
Still cracking on with the exercise but the not able to do the pilates as often as i would like. Still struggling with the weight,uurrggh!!
David is taking some more pics of my legs and stumps before I go in so looking forward to that. Hey at least I dont have to worry about having to get a pair of slippers ! I think the after care in the hospital is worrying me more then the operation itself which I know is strange but its from what I experienced before. Best advice i can give to any one who is going through something like this is plan as much before you go in as you can and talk to some one , especially if you feel that things are getting on top of you . Talking and planning these things will also help you to prepare mentally for the operation. Also dont worry getting down is going to happen, it wouldnt be normal if it didnt. Plan ahead for after the operation as well but unlike me try to be realistic about this, things will change as you recover and you cant predict what is going to happen or how quick !
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